So, this past Saturday was the 5th annual JTC Crawfish and Cold Beer celebration. It was, as always, a grand affair. Drogba was a wonderful host and a great time was had by all. Joe Kickass and myself proved that one can pick up cornhole in approximately 27 seconds. Clay proved that it is possible for a man to eat a plate of crawfish in the same amount of time.
These were great events, but none of them capture the biggest thing that happened to me on Saturday. No, from now on Saturday will be remembered as the day I met Codyethanhawkins.
I remember it like it was two days ago. We had had our fill of crawfish and took our beers to the front where cornhole was being played. As we waited our turn, a badass, no a rebel, no a legend among men came up on his dirt bike with the pegs on the front and back wheels.
You know the type ladies, a real heartbreaker. A man who laughs at danger and pisses on death. This man came out of nowhere. If I hadn't have been there I wouldn't have believed it myself. He rode through the front yard of our host as though it was his own personal X Games track and decided to bless us with his company.
Mrs. Panther: Why, hello there! What's your name?
The CEH: Codyehtanhawkins.
Mrs. Panther: Wow! That is quite a name how old are you?
The CEH: Eight.
Witty banter ensues. I mean I can be quite creative sometimes, but I tell you words can not describe how bad ass this kid was. He'd grab a football and try to kill one of the other kids. He's ride his bike real fast down the street and stop on a dime. The kid was some sort of mythological creature created by the Greeks. But, then the kicker came in.
Mrs. Panther: Are you excited about the summer?
The CEH: Yeah!
Mrs. Panther: What are you going to do?
The CEH: Probably go down to the dead end and look around.
This child has no fear, people. He's going to the dead end just to look around. I've seen kids twice his age cry at the thought of going to "the dead end". Codyethanhawkins spends his summers down there just "looking around". Looking for what? I have no idea, and I don't think I want to know. I assume the answer is... danger.
Sadly, my interaction with Codyethanhawkins ended shortly after that. I had so many questions left unanswered. Like, what two people had their DNA come together to make such a specimen? Was it nature or nurture? And my number one question, when is someone going to punch this prick in the face?
Sadly, none of them were answered, but I will always remember Codyethanhawkins in my heart. Here's to you Codyethanhawkins and remember, it's better to burn out than fade away.
Monday, May 12, 2008
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5 comments:
I can answer one question for you. No one will ever punch the CEH in the face. Didn't you notice his catlike reflexes, not to mention his superior agileness on the BMX bike. That kid is a force of nature. He's like a tornado wrapped in a hurricane wrapped in a whirlwind wrapped in some kind of redneck kid attire. I'd be surprised if anyone even tried to punch him, but it wouldn't matter, because the CEH would deftly avoid the punch and then deliver some kind of death blow. Probably involving a cool weapon he found while looking at stuff at the dead end.
Also, I totally forgotten about the CEH until just now. Please don't tell him. I don't want to get on his bad side.
First off, Drogba would like to thank all the loyal Evilblogers that made it out to JTC Crawfish and Coldbeer. It was a great time and for the first time ever, all the crawfish was eaten in one day. 240 lbs. Very Nice!
As for Codyethanhawkins, that kid is a BAD ASS!
Well, there was a point where earlier in the day while Drogba was setting things up, THE CEH kept riding by on his bike and trying to stare Drogba down. As Drogba watched him start and stop on his bike and do crazy fishtail stops, Drogba knew this was the kind of man who fears no one. It was safe to say that Drogba stayed in the back yard the rest of the day, in fear of what would happen if THE CEH and Drogba were forced to tangle.
One of Drogba's favorite moments of the day was when Jackie saw
THE CEH riding through her yard and took off after him. She ran after him only to see him ride off laughing to himself.
Evil is right, at some point
THE CEH may get a serious beatdown!
The coolest thing about "The Hawk" is that he has a watch with a light on it. The only real reason I believed him, is because he showed us.... and because I was a bit intimidated. Otherwise, I'd think he was just lying.
I can beat 27 seconds. I can't beat THE CEH. I'm pretty sure no human can. Seriously, this guy would probably eat the damn crawfish whole...shell, claws and all and then look at all of us like why are we wasting our time for just the chewy, tasty white meat in the middle when you can have the whole damn thing.
By the way, this is my favorite blog to date. Job well done, Evil.
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