Just Santorum all over their faces.

I love Rick Santorum. I honestly do. I don't love him in the sense that I would vote for him, but I love him just the same. He is, quite possibly, the perfect Republican candidate. He is, I would argue, the modern Republican Party in one confused little man.

First, Rick Santorum loves the Jesus. This is a must. You can't get anywhere with the Republican base if you don't outwardly praise Jesus Christ as your savior, well unless you're Joe Lieberman. Rick loves the Jesus more than most though. He believes Satan has his sights on America. He loves Jesus so much he doesn't even know what the word theology means. Hell, I bet he keeps left over Chik Fil A in the fridge so he can get the Jesus chicken on Sunday. That's a lot o' Jesus.

That's not enough though. You also must have believed in spending big when W was in the White House and hate it now that Obama is in. Rick's got that in spades. He voted for the unpaid for Medicare prescription drug benefit. He voted for the bridge to nowhere. He voted to rasie the debt ceiling repeatedly. That was all fine. Why? Because it's ok if you're Republican.

What really makes Rick special though is that little extra crazy. Whether it's making a federal issue out of Terri Schiavo or bringing a dead baby home for his kids to hold, Rick Santorum will not be out-crazied. Not even by a guy who straps a dog to the roof of his car.

So there you have it, my case for Rick Santorum to be the guy who loses to Barack Obama. Suck it, Romney!