Evilblog

The crisis that wasn't.

2011-07-11T22:38:00.002-05:00

Today is July 11th. I have not written anything on this site for seven months. I have good reason for that. I figure anyone that reads this knows where I stand on things. I don't sit at a desk anymore, and haven't for almost three years now. (Although, if you know anyone hiring, I'm totally willing.) I have a relationship that I don't necessarily feel like writing about. Yada yada yada, I have not been writing. But, as a Michael Corleone once said:

This debt ceiling "crisis" is killing me. We currently are dealing with a Republican Congress holding the American economy hostage in order to cut spending for old people, sick old people, poor people, sick poor people, poor kids and sick poor kids. Why would they do that? Because you can't be taking away corporate jets!!!

That's actually oversimplifying it by a lot. The main reason we can't do it is because Grover Norquist has gotten every single Republican members of Congress to sign a pledge saying they will not vote for a tax increase. Those members of Congress hold to that pledge almost as tight as they hold onto their Bibles. Grover Norquist has said that even getting rid of loopholes, for say corporate jets, is voting for a tax hike. Which would lead to decreased political contributions who voted for that and they would probably be primaried. Nobody likes a primary... well, except me. I love primaries. They are awesome. Especially Republican ones!!

Ok, so, Republicans, at least in the House, are scared to piss off Grover Norquist. I get it. So, here's the question I have: Why don't we just raise the damn debt limit like we always have? This is an even more interesting tale. As you know, we elected a bunch of crazies to the House way back in 2010. It seems silly now, but some folks thought it was a good idea not to vote and the ones that did vote thought the country was turning into some kind of socialist state. I don't really want to rehash all of it, let's just agreed it happened.

Well, those crazy freshmen members, somewhat begrudgingly, voted Rep. John Boehner in as Speaker of the House. John Boehner is a deal maker. John Boehner is not a tea party guy. He's the guy they would be fighting against if they knew enough to know who they should be fighting against.

Anyway, John Boehner likes being Speaker of the House. Who wouldn't? He's got a big gavel. He gets to golf with the President. He gets to golf with lobbyist. He gets to golf with Hank Williams, Jr. Look, the jobs got some perks!!! His handicap is around eight for Christ's sake!!! Do you know how much time that takes? It doesn't just happen!!

So, John Boehner wants to keep his job. So what? Well, he's got this guy underneath him named Eric Cantor that would very much like to be Speaker himself. The freshmen class really likes that guy. He's kinda wacky himself and refuses to call his peeps crazy. They like that. They're not 100% sure about John Boehner.

They are also not 100% sure that we should raise the debt limit. Actually, a lot of them don't think we should. Hell, a lot of them have said that no matter what the deal is they won't vote to raise the debt limit, period. (I know. Crazy, huh? This is what happens when you elect dittoheads.) John Boehner needs these folks to like him so he can keep playing golf at the best courses in America. So, what's he to do?

Right now he seems to have taken the path of trying to get the President to roll over and get the best deal he can get; and, to be honest, he's done pretty well. He's gotten the President to agree to somewhere around a four to five split spending cuts to revenue increases. That's a great deal!!!

But.

But one thing. John Boehner can't make any deal. As discussed, a large part of his caucus refuses to believe we need to raise the debt ceiling. The rest of them say we can't raise revenues one cent. That makes it tough. What's a guy to do? Well, he's stuck with the old, "give us everything we want or we'll blow up the economy" argument. It's a good one. It's worked back in January. Maybe it'll work again.

But what if it doesn't? Will Republicans in the House really push us into another Great Depression just to keep poor kids from eating? They don't have to do this. They could just raise the damn debt ceiling tomorrow like Congresses in the past have done 74 times without any problems. Congress's that cared more about the country than seeing a President fail. Congress's that cared more about the country than what Grover Norquist thought. Congress's that thought about more than just opposing the President.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I believe we are better than this. Do we have a fiscal problem? Yes. We got a huge unemployment problem and a lot more folks retiring than workers to support them. It's a big deal. We won't solve it in the next few weeks. We are going to have to solve it over years. The only thing we can do right now is raise the debt limit in order to not shoot interest rates up and making the problem much much worse.

We are creating a crisis for no reason. We have real several real problems to deal with. Our military is bombing in several countries right now. The unemployment rate is 9.2%. We have many long term fiscal issues. American corporations are investing in other countries rather than creating jobs here. Our infrastructure is outdated and falling apart. I could go on and on. The one thing we don't need to be worrying about is the damn debt ceiling. Instead, Republicans in Congress have made sure it is the only thing we can think about because they oppose the President. Here's hoping the reconsider in the next couple of weeks. Here's hoping we all grow up.

... and then people die.

2011-01-11T22:31:00.004-06:00

This past Saturday a crazy man went and shot a Democratic Congresswoman in Tucson, Arizona. A nine year old girl and a federal judge were among those killed. The Congresswoman is still in critical condition recovering from a bullet that went through her head. So, who's fault is it?

Well, obviously, it's the crazy guy's. No one disagrees. Some folks think that's where the conversation should end. Well, I and many others don't. I think we should think about why these things happen. And yes I said things, but more on that later.

First, let's discuss why we should even consider where these people come from. If you will, follow me down a short journey in our nations history. On September 11, 2001, 19 crazy men attacked this country. It was a terrible day. I'm sure you recall it. My question is, what if W had said to America, "We found the 19 guys that did this... that's it?"

What if he said that? You and I would have been up in arms. Rightfully. So, what's the difference? Well, several thousand dead for one. But other than that, what's the difference? The 19 hijackers on 9/11 were crazy guys who were influenced by people preaching violent rhetoric against the government of the United States. The crazy guy in Arizona was very angry with the government of the United States for a reason that will be discovered.

Now, again, what if W didn't even mention where these guys got the idea from, you'd say he was crazy himself, wouldn't you? I would too. Now, in the situation of 9/11 and much more so in the attacks since, it is not important if Bin Laden personally speaks to the attackers. It's that he is calling for war on America. It's that he encourages open war on the United States. That is his most important role that Osama Bin Laden plays in the war on terror in 2010.

There is no evidence that Jared Loughner ever read the rantings on redstate. I have no evidence he ever heard Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Sean Hannity or was blessed to see the beauty of Sarah Palin. I found it extremely doubtful that he never heard any of it. I hate these guys and can't get away from them.

To be clear, I'm not blaming any of these guys for this. Jared Loughner is crazy. So are many of the suicide bombers. There are crazy people everywhere. That is not the argument. The question is what do you do to push the crazies in a certain direction?

Do we say, call for Second Amendment remedies to our political disputes? Do we bring guns to political rallies? Do we say, "Don't retreat. Reload!"? Some of us do, some of us don't.

Look, I'm not saying guys on my side don't ever take some liberties when speaking of the other side. We don't build campaign slogans around it.

And even if we did, there is another thing in our favor. In my lifetime, the left has not used domestic terrorism as a tactic. The right bombs family planning centers. The left has protest where they call W a criminal. The right shoots members of Congress. The left may goes as far to sit in a corporate office. The right blows up a Federal building in Oklahoma City.

That is why this is important. Yes, there are crazy people everywhere. We all agree on that. One side uses rhetoric that encourages those crazies to do things like blow up Federal buildings or attempt to assassinate members of Congress, one side doesn't.

So, let's stop with the false equivalencies here, folks. The whole 2010 campaign was built on a violent revolution. The Tea Party is a tribute to our violent revolutionary past. That is just a fact. And when some crazies take that rhetoric to it's semi-logical conclusion, some people should at least be made to reconsider the things they are building their movement on. That is all. I'm not saying we bomb where ever Sarah Palin tweets from. I'm not saying we should hang Glen Beck. I'm just saying maybe they should reconsider their rhetoric. That maybe they should start basing their arguments on reality and not hyperbole. Not because they shouldn't have freedom of speech, but because, as was said many years ago, the freedom to swing one's fist ends at the beginning of another's nose.

I'm just saying think about it... Everyone.

On that note:

Jerkass is not enough.

2010-12-17T12:20:00.003-06:00

Most every week I try to give out an award on this blog. It's a funny term that I made up and it works for most situations. Not this week. Not now. No. There is a certain guy who leads a group of guys who have taken it a step further the past few weeks and deserve special recognition.

Over the past few weeks the Republicans in the Senate MINORITY have held this nation hostage. They have decided they will not allow anything to go forward in this nation unless their billionaire pals can pay lower taxes and pass those billions of dollars on to their third wives and trust fund kids when they die.

In order to get this, they have been willing to do anything. Anything. Here's a little list I can think of off the top of my head.

- Cut off unemployment insurance for millions of out of work Americans.
- Held hostage tax cuts for 98% of Americans.
- Damaged the security of the United States by refusing to even hold a vote on START. Which, as far as I can tell, every sane person on either side of the aisle is for.
- Refused to allow gays and lesbians to serve in the military.

That's all bad. Really bad. But you know what? It's not bad enough for these guys. Watch this.

That's right. Republicans, led by Mitch McConnell, have denied funding for 9/11 first responders health care in order to get tax cuts for billionaires and their potential heirs. Well, you won, Mitch. Nice work. I hope it was worth it. Say hello to Hitler for me when you meet him in hell.

As I said, Jerkass is not enough for this guy. So, on behalf of any American that finds what you have done to this country beyond despicable, I would like to send out a big wet Memphis style Fuck You to you and your compadres. May Christmas bring you insight into what you have done in order to save the top 1% of this country. If that doesn't happen, may you get the clap.

Have a great weekend, folks. Big Grizz game tomorrow night in San Antonio. Go Grizz!!!!! Get Crunk!!!

Thank you, Fareed.

2010-12-13T09:06:00.001-06:00

My boy Fareed is back with a nice read. Take a gander.

Mr. President, with all do respect, no deal.

2010-12-07T10:02:00.004-06:00

I was going to write a big rant on this today, but Joe Scarbrough beat me to the bunch. That's right, former Republican Congressman Joe Scarbrough, beat me to the punch. Joe's right. This is a bad deal for Americans. We don't need more tax cuts for millionaires. We need to start acting like adults.

I understand that you feel like you have to compromise with Republicans, but here's the thing... you don't. Right now you still control the Presidency, the Senate and the House. In January, you will still control the Senate and the Presidency. They don't control the debate... unless you let them. Go out and tell the folks for Maine and Massachusetts what their Senators are doing. Tell Americans that the House has passed tax cuts for 98% of Americans (or, as I would argue, ALL AMERICANS!) and a majority of Senators have voted for it as well. The only thing holding things up is the Republican MINORITY is filibustering.

Now, I understand they are crazy. They may well filibuster until they take over the House. Well... so what. It still can't pass the Senate unless it's in the form that you want. The compromise position is your original position, Mr. President. Many Americans think the tax cuts should expire for everyone. Many Americans think it's time to stop acting like we can get things for nothing. The compromise position is keeping the tax rates the same for those under $250k and only going to Clinton rates on those over $250k. That is the compromise. Anything else is unaffordable.

Here's hoping Nancy Pelosi stands up and tells you how to be a Democrat... again.

House Republicans to poor kids: Drop dead!

2010-12-02T09:13:00.004-06:00

I guess it is not bad enough that they are blocking unemployment benefits to two million Americans. Now, they want to cut off school lunches to poor kids.

I really try to see the other side of these arguments. I bend over backwards to do so. The thing is that we used to be able to agree on some things. Not a lot. But some. Things like the unemployed should be given some consideration, especially when there are no jobs. Another is that kids should be able to have a healthy lunch. I think we can all agree on that. I guess not.

It's a sad day in America when we can agree that poor kids should be able to get a healthy lunch in public schools. Very sad indeed.

Now about that START treaty...

Class Warfare!!!

2010-12-01T11:05:00.005-06:00

So, this is what compromise looks like. Republicans are now holding unemployment benefits hostage for tax cuts for millionaires. Well, I am sick of it. I am not willing to negotiate with terrorist. Sorry.

This is what it has come to. The Democrats are willing to keep the Bush tax cuts in place for 98% of all Americans. Actually, that's not true. Every American who pays income tax would keep the same rate on their first $250,000. That's right!! Even billionaires get those rates. You see, that is how the income tax works. Everyone pays the same rate on their income in those brackets. It's just the folks that make over $250,000 get more in tax breaks.

I know Republicans will tell you that this is because they care about the economy growing and doing something about the unemployment situation in this country. Well, that's bullshit. Sorry, American corporations are making more money than ever. Seriously, more money than ever. Why aren't they hiring? Because the individual tax rates are too high? No. Because demand isn't there. Well, what is a really terrible thing to do if demand is low? Cut off unemployment benefits!!! Why? Because when poor people get money, they actually spend it. Why? Because they have to!!! What do millionaires do when they get a tax cut? Well, I don't know, but I know they haven't been hiring people.

To see this argument play out watch this...

Well, jerkass, I will explain it. It's called demand. If no one is able to buy products there is no demand. This job creators create jobs line is priceless. Well, what makes someone a job creator? And where are the job creators? Why do millionaires need tax cuts if they aren't creating jobs? Is Mike Conley a job creator just because he makes a lot of money? Of course not. Having a lot of money doesn't make you a job creator. Actually hiring people does! There are many ideas out there in how to give employers incentives to hire people. (A payroll tax holiday for example.) None of them have to do with the top marginal tax rates.

Also, Congressman, explain how the hell we added so many jobs in the 90's? Did people stop hiring when the top rate went up to.... exactly what it would go up to if Dems got their way? Of course not. Why? Because people don't hire based on what their taxes are. They hire people because they need to. If a business is making tons of money but doesn't need any help they won't hire anyone, no matter what their individual tax rate is. If they are making money and can't handle all the work they have, they will hire someone to handle the extra work. No matter what the top rate is. It's called demand. By cutting off unemployment benefits you hurt demand. By cutting top rates you just give millionaires more money and do nothing to actually encourage them to hire anyone.

Put simply, I doubt Mike Conley will hire anyone based on what you guys decide to do with the tax rates. Why? Because he doesn't need anyone. I bet a company that is turning down work because they don't have enough employees to handle the demand for their product will hire someone no matter what you do. Why? Because whether you tax it at 39.5% or 35%, people like to make more money. I promise you that. People like money and will not stop wanting more. Trust me.

Grizz Biz: Grizz Win!!!

2010-12-01T08:50:00.002-06:00

The Grizzlies took on the two time defending champion L.A. Lakers at the Forum last night and won... behind Mike Conley. You read that right, Mike Conley sliced and diced the Lakers in route to a season high 28 points on 10-13 shooting. In comparison, Kobe Bryant had 29 on 9-25 shooting. In comparison to that, no Grizzly shot more than 15 shots. Oh, and 19 year old rookie Xavier Henry held his own against the best player in the world with a +8 on the +/- for the night.

This is the Grizz team we signed up for this year. Playing as a team. No one getting all the shots, everyone contributing. This is how this team can compete and even win a game in the playoffs. A couple of notes.

- This is why Xavier starts. He is physical. I was struck by how big he is when I first saw him at Grizz open practice. This 19 year old kid can physically compete with the Kobe Byants of the world on a nightly basis. OJ cannot.

- Marc Gasol is not healthy. His efficiency is way down and I have to think it's because he's still hurt. The Grizz need to get him healthy. If he's gotta miss a couple of games, then so be it. We've got to be full strength going forward.

- On that note, play Hasheem Thabeet!!! I know he sucks, but I went to the Detroit game last week and we blew them out. Did Lionel take this opportunity to get Hasheem extended minutes? Nope. He kept the starters in when we had the game in hand. He's not gonna get any better if he doesn't play. If an opportunity presents itself, play him.

- OJ has a huge opportunity tonight. Atlanta gives the Grizz a lot of problems. One of the bigger ones is their bench being more productive than ours. Jamal Crawford is one of the top sixth men in the NBA. Can OJ score with him? I sure hope so. OJ still needs to adjust to the role, but he seems to be getting more and more comfortable. He needs to be looking to score every time he touches the ball. That is a huge adjustment for him, but I think he'll like it once he does.

- Check out this blog on Rudy living up to his contract. On a side note, who knew the New York Times had an NBA blog? I'm in.

- John Hollinger was in town for the game last night. Check out his coverage over at ESPN.com and listen to his appearance on Chris Vernon on iTunes.

That's about it for now. Grizz face a tough one in the ATL tonight. Here's hoping they can keep this momentum up and X can make life difficult for Joe Johnson. If he can, Mike could have another big game against Bibby and we could sneak out of there with a W. Go Grizz!!!

Grizz Biz: A look at the Grizz one month in.

2010-11-29T09:42:00.002-06:00

Well, it's been an interesting first month of the season for the Memphis Grizzlies. A season that began with a playoff guarantee from ownership started out rough. Marc Gasol missed opening night, Zach Randolph bruised his tailbone and missed 4 games, and OJ Mayo couldn't hit a shot. That's not good. Meanwhile, Mike Conley has decided to play in November like he plays in April and Rudy Gay seems to have become the teams go to guy. That is very good. It's defiantly been a mixed bag for Grizz fans, but hope is not lost. The Grizz are 7-10 and looking forward to the Lakers coming into the Forum tonight. Now is as good a time as any to look at the state of Grizz, so let's do it. Here is a quick look at the major issues facing the Grizz going forward in what will hopefully be their return to the playoffs.

Is Rudy Gay the man? Anyone who watches the NBA knows that it is a league built on stars. All the good teams have a go to guy. Great teams have two. The last Grizzlies team that made it to the playoffs was built around Pau Gasol. They paid him like a franchise player and he lead to team to three straight playoff appearances. He also lead them to an NBA record 0-12 record in the playoffs. The decision was made that Pau couldn't lead the Grizz to playoff success and he was shipped out.

This past offseason the Grizz gave Rudy Gay a huge deal and essentially tied their future to the former UConn star. So far, it looks like a good call. Rudy is 17th in the NBA in scoring, averaging 21.6 points per game. He has been a more efficient player and seems to be becoming the leader of the team. That is all well and good, but we won't know the real answer to the question until the Grizz actually get into the playoffs and Gay produces on the biggest stage. Having said that, Rudy has advantages that Pau did not. One, he's a perimeter player and therefore harder to double team. Second, his length and athleticism allow him to get a shot anytime he wants. The only question is weather or not he makes it.

Was the Conley signing a good call? Coming into the season, the Grizz had to make decisions on 3/5 of their starting lineup. Mike Conley, Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol all are up for contract extensions. Well, were. Mike got his. Mike signed a 5 year/ $4o million deal a week into the season. A lot of folks think this deal was over the top. I do not. First, Mike Conley has finally started to figure it out. He has finally figured out that he can get to the hole any time he wants. He is one of the quickest guys in the league. He can finish with both hands. He needs to drive and he's doing it. He is now a legitimate starting point guard in the NBA.

Another reason this deal is reasonable is how the CBA works. You here all the time that Mike was going to be a restricted free agent, so why sign him. Well, that is not the whole truth. Mike would have been a restricted free agent if the Grizz offered him a qualifying offer. What was the qualifying offer for the former number four pick? $6.4 million. What does he make in the first year of the contract? $6.5 million. So, people are upset over $100k? I don't get it. It's a deal similar to what Raymond Felton just got and I like Mike Conley's future more than Raymond Felton. I say it's a good deal for your starting point guard going forward.

What to do with Zach? Zach Randolph is great. He is a double double machine. I love him. Having said that, do I want him to take a pay cut? Yes. Zach is making over $17 million this year. He's thirty and hasn't taken the best care of himself. He may or may not run a drug ring out of Indianapolis. He's been a knucklehead. He doesn't play defense. No, he doesn't get a "Pau Gasol-like" contract. I hope the Grizz can work out a deal, but it needs to be reasonable. The Grizz are reportedly offering 3 years/$40 million. That seems about right to me, but we'll see.

What is Marc Gasol going to cost? I am of the opinion that the Grizzlies must sign Marc Gasol. Must. The question is what is that going to cost? Al Horford just signed a 5 year/$60 million contract. I hope Marc will do the same. Sadly, the Grizzlies cannot negotiate with Marc until the offseason. Hopefully, we get this done.

Will OJ adapt to coming off the bench? Last week, Coach Hollins made a very important decision for the future of this team. He moved rookie Xavier Henry into the starting five and made OJ Mayo the sixth man. I for one have been calling for this for a while. The fact is that OJ is a flawed player. Mainly, he is too small and not athletic enough to be a dominant NBA two guard. Putting that aside, he can ball. The problem is with Mike Conley at point guard the Grizz have a very small backcourt. Also, with Rudy Gay, Zack Randolph, Marc Gasol and a newly aggressive Mike Conley in the starting lineup OJ is reduced to the third option in the offense at best. That lineup really just needs a guy to space the floor. OJ can do that, but he can do a lot more. Add to that the fact that the bench has been a huge problem for the past couple of years and Xavier is big, athletic and can space the floor and you have perfect opportunity to move OJ into a sixth man role. I think it's a good call by coach and I look forward to seeing how it works out in the next couple of weeks.

So, that's it for today. In the future we'll take a closer look at Xavier Henry, Darrell Arthur, Tony Allen and Hasheem Thabeet. Until then, go Grizzlies!!!

Day after turkey day ramblings.

2010-11-26T10:23:00.002-06:00

Well, as usually happens when I don't write for a week, I got a lot of stuff to talk about and not a lot of time to do it. We'll cover some things in bullet points here and hopefully do a longer Grizz post later today/tonight.

1) If you don't already, go listen to the sec1stop.com podcast. Usually we post it late Wednesday afternoons. This week the producer was out of town so I did a write up. Anyway, check it out.

2) Congrats to Mary Cashiola!!! Mary is moving from the Flyer to work for the City. The city needs more people like Mary. People who truly believe that Memphis is a great place and can be made even better with good policy decisions. Good luck. Your columns and blog will be missed.

3)North Korea is jerkass.

4) I'm headed to the Egg Bowl tomorrow!!! Anyone who knows what happens when I go to Ole Miss games with Drogba will tell you to bet on the Black Bears.

5) The Vols are looking to go to a bowl and all we gotta do is beat Kentucky for the 26th consecutive time. Bring back the Beer Barrel!!!

6) Black Griffin is for real. Like I want him to start for the national team in 2012 for real.

7) OJ Mayo is now coming off the bench for the Grizz. more on this later today/tonight but let's just say I like it and wish it was done a while ago.

So, that's it for now. I gotta do some work around the house and watch some football and basketball. I'll check back in for the Grizz game.

So many jerkasses, so little time.

2010-11-19T10:42:00.002-06:00

I really have no idea how to decide who the jerkass of the week is this week. There are just too many choices. Where to begin?

Well, let's start with a new jerkass. Incoming freshman Congressman Andy Harris really hates government run health care. So much that he is complaining that he won't get covered for 28 days by it!!! What's more amazing is that this guy is a doctor and has never heard of COBRA. Look, if it's so terrible shouldn't you just get your own? What about the children? Huh, jerkass?

Next, I gotta go to Mitch McConnell. I don't understand the amount of vanity it takes to turn down an invitation from the President to join him at the White House. I really don't. Sure you may have other plans, but whoever you have those plans with will understand. I promise. Well, apparently McConnell doesn't think the Federalist Society would be so forgiving. Instead of meeting with the President and Congressional leaders of both parties to work out some compromise on the Bush tax cuts, he had to give a speech to the Federalist Society arguing for the repeal of Health Care Reform. Really? First, as I have said before, you aren't in charge. You are the MINORITY leader. You will still be the MINORITY leader in January. When the President invites you to the White House you thank your lucky stars and you go. Either that, or you're a jerkass. Your choice.

That's bad. Really bad. Do you want to know what's worse? Republicans rejecting an extension of unemployment benefits. Unemployment is at 9.6%. People aren't just sitting around collecting a check for poops and giggles. They need that money to pay rent. Without it, God knows what will happen. More homeless. More hungry kids. More crime. It's really jerkass to want people to starve, and for that I give House Republicans (and 11 Democrats) the Jerkass of the Week. Way to go, jerkasses.

Have a great weekend, folks. Go Grizz. Go Vols. Go City. Get crunk!!

Belated JOW.

2010-11-13T08:14:00.003-06:00

Sorry, guys. In my first week back I couldn't even get the JOW out on Friday. My bad.

Just because I didn't get one out, doesn't mean the jerkasses of the world stopped working on their jerkassity. No, sadly, this was a big week in jerkass and we're going to have to name one of our own as the JOW.

I know the President doesn't read this blog. He's a busy guy, what with all the capitulating and all. Seriously, it takes a lot of time. how can you be expected to negotiate with yourself all week and have time to read the Evilblog. As the W once said, "It's hard work."

Well, don't make it so damn hard. Make it hard for the other guys. Pass the damn tax cuts for 98% of Americans in the House. Actually, that's selling it wrong because the 2% still get the tax cut that everyone else gets they just don't get an extra one on their income over $250k. Just pass it.

Now, I know Republicans are threatening to filibuster it in the Senate, and I know in the past that threat has made you scared. Here's a question, why? What are you scared of? Let them. Let them hold up tax cuts for all in order to give tax cuts to the top 2%. Let them filibuster all night and all day. Meanwhile, make it clear that we can't afford more and that everyone gets the tax cuts proposed.

If that is not enough, go talk to Sen. Mark Warner. He's got a good compromise plan. Now, I doubt Republicans will go for that, especially after you've signaled that you will give them what they want, but it's never too late to grow a spine and stop acting like Mitch McConnell is in charge. Your the President, act like it.

So, for negotiating with himself for a week, President Obama is the Jerkass of the Week. Don't let it happen again.

Have a great weekend, folks. Go City! Go Vols!! Go Grizz!!! Get crunk!!!!

Um, you're not in charge yet. (aka Eric Cantor is a dick.)

2010-11-10T06:46:00.005-06:00

I gotta say it. I'm sorry. It has to be said. I'm not the first to say it, I'm sure. I know I won't be the last. But, here it is... Eric Cantor is a dick. There it is. I feel better, don't you.

Seriously though, where does this guy get off? When he's not telling President Obama what he needs to do to get Republican votes on the extension of the Bush tax cuts, he's telling Democrats who the minority leader should be. Hey, Eric, we don't care.

A little explanation of why we don't care, Eric. It's not because you are a douche. That may be true, but we are accustomed to the Republicans trotting out guys like you every few years. It's not even because we're rude. I am, but I actually have a reason this time.

Here's the thing, Eric... You are not in charge!!!! You will not be in the majority until January. Do you know when the tax cuts are set to expire? January 1, 2011. Do you know what that means? That means the Democratic majority is still in charge. They don't need to ask your thoughts. They don't need your vote. As a matter of fact, I'm wiling to be still Speaker Nancy Pelosi is less likely to ask what you think with your saying "This is a woman who... puts ideology first" while saying she shouldn't run for minority leader. Eric, if you're reading this, click here. It may help.

On to the Democratic leadership battle. Let me ask you something, Eric... Why do you think we should even consider what you think? Seriously, what if I said to you that maybe the next Speaker shouldn't have a history of handing out tobacco lobbyist checks on the House floor. Would you care? Of course not. You guys get to pick your leader. Good for you.

I'm just saying, we might be looking different things in a leader than you. And that's ok. Just keep believing that what the American people really want is a guy who buys votes on the House floor to be the Speaker and we'll got with who we go with. We'll see you in two years, dick.

Who votes matters.

2010-11-08T20:26:00.005-06:00

Over and over again for the past 6 days I've heard that the American people have spoken and they hate Democrats, love Republicans, want to repeal health care reform, think Sarah Palin is great and want tax cuts for the top 2% of wage earners. If you don't agree with it, you just don't "get it." In the Post today, EJ Dionne takes a look at just who the American people were last Tuesday. It's a good read, and we'll expound on it.

First, I would point out that all we really learned last Tuesday is that old white people don't like Democrats. To which I respond, well no shit. That is nothing new. Democrats don't do well amongst the crackers. Especially not older conservative ones. That's just how it is.

Even amongst this older, whiter and more conservative electorate though, there were interesting numbers...

- 35% of voters blame Wall Street for current economic conditions. Amongst those, somehow 56% voted Republican. I guess they figure Wall Street deserves more tax cuts? 29% blamed W. 23% blame Obama.

- 48% want to repeal the Health Care bill. 47% want to keep it or expand it. Clearly, they have spoken?

-50% of the vote came from the suburbs... and there you go.

-45% voted for McCain. 45% Voted for Obama.

-Finally, to the "independents" that we've been hearing about. Republicans won the "independent" vote 55-40. Amongst those "independents" 51% voted for McCain, while 42% voted for Obama. Obama won independents by 8 points in '08.

So, Evil, what's the point? My point is when Republicans make up the electorate, Republicans win. If the electorate is made up of old white McCain voters then Dems will have a hard time. I doubt that will happen in 2012. If it does it would be a record low turnout. We'll see though.

My other point is that Republicans may very well overplay their hand. If they believe what they are saying, then they will. Most Americans still don't believe in what they are saying. Hell, even in this conservative electorate a majority is not for repeal of Health Care Reform. My hope is that Obama stands strong on the tax cuts and the GOP repeatedly tries to repeal Health Care Reform. I doubt either will happen.

I'm not sure you know what the word minority means.

2010-11-05T11:18:00.003-05:00

So, as I mentioned in my last post, the events of this past Tuesday have forced me back into the world of blogging. I'm not quite sure where you guys forgot everything I taught you, but you did. So, anyway, I'm back and I got a bone to pick with someone.

As we all know, Tuesday was a good night for Republicans. That was to be expected. Unemployment has been at around 10% for a year. It was a midterm. Conservatives were upset because W ran up such huge deficits and Obama hadn't fixed it during the worst recession since the great depression. I get it. Sometimes the playing field is not good for you. The D's took it on the chin and no one was surprised.

With that ass whooping came the probable promotion of Rep. John Boehner to Speaker of the House. I will put aside the fact that Nancy Pelosi did not cry in her for years as Speaker and John Boehner cried the night of the election. I'm going to let that go. He won. Good for him. He leads a strong majority in the House and needs all the luck he can get in keeping the crazies down. Good luck to you, buddy.

What didn't happen on Tuesday is that the Republicans did not take the Senate. According to what I have learned from the liberal media there are currently 51 Democratic Senators, 1 Socialist Senator who caucuses with the Dems, 1 Independent who caucuses with the Dems and 47 Republican Senators (giving them Alaska). Now, I may not be very smart or much of real Amurican, but I know something about basic math. It may be fuzzy math, but as far as I know 53 is greater than 47. That would make the group with 47 a "minority" and the leader of that group would be known as the "Minority Leader." Now, maybe my math is wrong, but I've checked it twice and I'm pretty sure I'm right. Please comment below if you can show me where I missed something.

Ok, given that you cannot find an error, can someone please explain to me why the hell Mitch McConnell is acting like he controls the Senate? He is making speeches telling the President that he needs to come over to his positions or else? Mitch, you are not in charge. Harry Reid is still in charge. I know you guys thought you were going to beat him, but as you are soooo fond of saying the Amurican people spoke and Harry Reid is still the Majority Leader of the United States Senate. You can either quit being a jerkass or you can filibuster everything. Your choice. To be honest, I don't care. We already passed health care reform (and many other things) and, contrary to your math, you don't have the votes to repeal it. It ain't gonna happen. Get over it. The MAJORITY will not let it happen.

So, for failing basic math and acting like he is in the majority, Mitch McConnell is the Jerkass of the Week.

Having said that, I got another group of jerkasses that need to be called out. That's right, a double jerkass of the week. For our second Jerkass of the Week I'm looking at these Democrats that are saying that since we lost a midterm election the party is fucked. We're not. Sorry. Unemployment is high and conservatives were excited to vote. That's it. Obama built a coalition on young people, minorities and college educated folks. Well, guess what? Two of those three don't vote in midterms. They just don't. You can say the American people don't agree with us. I disagree. I think the folks that voted on Tuesday disagreed. More people vote in Presidential elections. That's just how it has always been and will continue to be.

So what should Democrats do? Well, I got a two part plan. One is easy and the second is more difficult. First, kick 'em in the nuts. That is always Evil's first rule of politics. I would do this by fighting like hell against extending the Bush tax cuts for the top 2%. I would make the Republicans show who they are really fighting for. I don't think this will happen, but it's what I would do. The second thing that is important is getting the unemployment rate down below 8%. I know that won't happen soon, but it needs to move that direction. If it doesn't, nothing else matters. People want jobs. They don't care about the tax cuts for 2% of the population. Hell, they don't really care about health care reform. They want a job. If they don't have one, they will be scared and listen to anyone who gives them someone to blame, whether that person to blame is immigrants, Wall Street Bankers or (more likely) the President of the United States.

Have a good weekend, folks. Go Grizz!!! Go City!!! Go Bears!!! Go Vols!!! Get crunk.

They keep pulling me back in.

2010-11-04T20:07:00.002-05:00

Fine you got me. I'm back. I took off the last couple of years and look what happened. The loonies are back in charge. I'm sorry. I thought I could leave this thing in cruise control. Apparently not. We had a witch run for Senate. We had a crazy woman come close to beating the Senate majority leader. And now we have a network trying to make people believe that it is going to cost $200 million a day to have the President visit India.

Fine. My bad. I thought you guys had this. I thought I could move on and try to have a life. I guess I was wrong. Let it be known that I am watching the crazies. The Jerkass of the Week will be back. My drunk ramblings may be back as well. We can only hope.

Until next time, I would like it to be known that I am not a witch but sometimes I practice the mojo.

Update.

2010-08-10T10:18:00.002-05:00

So, I've been gone for a while. Sorry about that. I do have a new project you can check out. It's called sec1stop.com and we think it's the tits. If you like SEC football, you should go there. If you like me, you should go there. Just go there.

On other fronts, the Cardinals are battling the Reds for first and the Grizz can't sign their two first round picks in a league that slots its first round picks. Everything is the same.

I will be back, folks. I promise. Sooner rather than later. Until then, stay crucial.

How bout them Grizzlies!?!?!?

2010-01-26T09:46:00.003-06:00

So, I haven't written in a while. To be honest, I'm thinking about taking a Urban Meyer style leave of absence for a while. I'm just kind of burned out on writing and I don't think I've been in the zone lately. Anyway, check back once a week and I'm sure I'll have something to say.

Today I've got to talk about the Memphis Grizzlies. Today is the first day in three and a half years that a fan of the Memphis Grizzlies can look at the standings and say, "If the playoffs started today, the Memphis Grizzlies would be in!" Believe it, folks. These guys are for real.

Last night was just another example in a long list of them, the Grizz are just tough to beat. You want to run? We'll run with Conley, Gay and Mayo. You want to slow it down? We'll pound the ball in to Randolph and Gasol. You want to pack it in? Conley and Mayo will burn you from three. These guys can beat you any number of ways and I don't see them fading as long as there are no injuries.

Now, that's the thing. There will be injuries. You just don't go through an NBA season as healthy as the Grizz have been. Mike Conley is the only starter to have missed a game and he missed just one after Carlos Boozer committed aggravated battery against him. That is not going to happen for the rest of the year.

To their credit, the Grizz front office is trying to fix this. They are being active in the trade market and I expect a swingman to be acquired over the next couple of weeks. On top of that, forgotten man, Darrel Arthur, should be returning within the next couple of weeks as well. At that point, I'll feel a lot better about our depth and our ability to make some noise in the very tough Western Conference.

One more thing... How about Mike Conley? This guy has become a real factor out there. Now his stats are not going to blow you away, but they don't have to. His assist numbers are never going to be really high because of the amount of iso's the rest of the starters get. His points will never be that high because he plays with four scorers. What he is doing is hitting threes (61% in January) and not turning the ball over. He also shows an ability to make plays on the pick and roll with Gasol late in the game. (See his hanging right handed finish and dish to Marc for a three point play last night.) I've always said that the guy just needs to figure out that he can get by anyone in this league. I think he knows that now. I think he also knows that he doesn't have to score for this team to be great. He just needs to be steady and hit open shots. He's doing that, and it shouldn't be overlooked.

That's all for now. Be on the lookout for Evilbro at the Grizz game on Wednesday in Detroit. He's got good seats and he likes to get rowdy. I expect an ejection. 'Til then, Go Grizz!!!!

There ain't no Jazz in Utah.

2010-01-06T14:17:00.003-06:00

Before we talk about tonight's tough matchup with the Jazz, let's read a little more about last night's win. TrueHoop gives OJ some well deserved props. I've said it before, and I'll hopefully say it a lot more, but OJ Mayo is a killer. In his second year he already knows that he doesn't need to score the whole game, but when the Grizz need a bucket late in a game OJ gets it. He doesn't feel pressure. He feeds on it. Last night was just another example of it, and it's good to see some national press notice.

Moving on to tonight. I don't know how else to say it, I expect an L. We're on the second half of a back to back, on the road, in Utah, at altitude, playing against one of the best point guards in the league, on the last game of a road trip. These are all reasons we should lose. That being said, I'll be looking to see what kind of energy the boys come out with. If they come out and play hard, I'll be impressed. Win or lose, I'll be impressed with their professionalism. It will take me back to the glory days of Dunkyland. The Hubie years. Those teams never gave away a game. That's how they won 50. They just outworked teams most nights. It was before the attitudes took over. It was my first and only experience with a 50 win NBA team. It was the best of times.

Until now. This team is quickly becoming my favorite Grizz team ever. I like Randolph more than Pau. I like Marc Gasol more than Wright. Rudy has a higher ceiling than Battier. And Mayo is a killer, while Bonzi was a psycho and Mike Miller, God love him, won't even take a shot in the clutch. Actually looking at these two teams, a couple things stand out to me. First, this may be the best Grizzlies starting line up ever. Actually, I don't think it's close. Second, is how deep that 03-04 team was. They had Mike Miller, James Posey and Earl Watson coming off the bench. Hell, even Stromile played well in the minutes he got. That's what this team is missing.

Luckily, the Grizz are shopping right now. We don't need a lot. We just need a guy that can play the 2/3 that can back up Rudy and OJ. Sam Young is playing great, but we need a veteran off the bench. Right now, our starting lineup is playing more minutes than any starting lineup in the league. That cannot continue. Injuries and fatigue will become major issues.

We do have assets. We have three first round draft picks this year. We don't need them. We need ours, but the other two (Denver and Lakers) are expendable. Those should be enough along with Stephen Hunter's expiring contract to get a sixth man. Give us that and Darrell Arthur coming back next month and we could be deep enough to make a playoff run. And that would be a welcome sight around these parts.

If that happens, it would be a miracle. If that happens there are some awards coming our direction. Lionel has already won coach of the month. He'll be mentioned as coach of the year. Zach will be in talks for comeback player of the year. More importantly though, shouldn't Chris Wallace be considered for executive of the year? And if so, doesn't that really mean that Mike Heisley is the executive of the year? I hate to say it, but that guy may be crazy like a damn fox. He hired the coach. He went and got Zach. He believed in Conley. He forced the OJ trade. Seriously, the guy looks like a damn genius, and I never thought I'd say that.

It's a good day to be a Grizz.

UPDATE: Derron Williams is a gametime decision tonight. He has a sprained wrist. He missed shoot around. No Williams would help... a lot.

Grizz Liveblog: The Trail Shall Be Blazed!!!

2010-01-05T20:40:00.037-06:00

So, I am set up here at Casa de Evil and am ready to do this. McCallan is in hand and Sean Touhy is about to tell me how the Grizz are going to win. Before he does let me say this, we should win this one. The Blazers are really beat up and are on the tail end of a back to back. We just need to play our game and we'll be fine. That being said, no road game is easy and I doubt this will be an exception. Let's get it on!!!

This just in... Aldridge is playing tonight. There goes my chance to see Zach Randolph eat Jeff Pendergraph. Seriously, that's who was starting for them.

Apparently the NBA is making all the players where NBAFit shirts during warm ups. Just thought you guys should know. If this in anyway effects OJ's stroke I'm calling Stern at halftime.

Sean's keys to the game?
1) Race to 100 points.
2) Have 60+ in the paint.
3) Someone has to match Brandon Roy.

The first two are kind of a duh and I disagree with the third. Now, let's tip this mother off!!!!

Juwan Howard is 237 years old.

Grizz getting into the lane with ease. I like it. Portland doing the same. I don't like.

Jamal may have to show Mike Conley how to guard Andre Miller.

Ok, seriously, can someone guard Andre Miller?

Sam Young enters. Shots coming soon.

Down one at the end of the first. WTF? Play some damn D and quit taking so many damn jumpers!!!

Ok, I can't emphasize this enough. Go to the damn hole and guard someone. It's that simple.

Good timeout by Lionel. We're flat. I guess that's why he's the coach of the month.

Get a damn stop.

And quit letting a 92 year old man beat your ass, Zach.

I can take Brandon Roy beating our ass. I can even handle Martell Webster hitting a three, but Andre Miller and Juwan Howard? Really? Luckily, we're shooting well. Tie ball game with 1:24 left in the half.

Down one at half. Not bad for a team that played no defense. I like our chances in the second. We just got to keep the geriatric set from busting our ass. Who knew Howard was still playing. Webber and Rose have been in the studio for two years now. Anyway, jobo needs a refill.

And we're back!!! Still not playing D.

Apparently, Brandon Roy is a bleeder.

The good news is we're staying in this game without playing any D. The bad news is they have Brandon Roy and we don't. We could be looking at an OJ/Roy battle in the fourth.

Andre Miller has 16. I will repeat Andre Miller has 16.

I kind of feel sorry for Juwan. When he started in the NBA you could throw people in the first row and not get a flagrant. That was before Bin Laden ruined everything.

11-0 run by the Grizz. Let's go Grizzlies!!!

83-79 end of the third. Let's stay strong and expand this thing so Roy doesn't have a shot. Hey, coach, keep Tinsley in.

Who wants to hit a big shot? OJ!!! That's why he's the killer.

Webster 3? Mayo answers!!! Killer.

This just in, Brandon Roy is really good at basketball.

100-96. 4:59 to go.

We can't get a stop. Not looking good. 104-99 with 3:20 left.

Any possession Roy doesn't touch the ball is a win.

Zach Randolph!!!! MVP!!!

Apparently, the Grizz held all their stops for the last minute. Tie ball game. 30 tics left. Let's Go Grizzlies!!!

The Killer does it on both ends!!!

Or maybe not. Come on, Juice!!!

Great D! Marc to the line....

Come on, Marc!!!

Hits the first. Grizz up 2 with 9 left.

Misses the second....

Conley fouls!!! What? Bayless to the line with 4.3 seconds left.

Bayless misses the first and hits the second? Nice. Just get it in, guys.

Ball in to Mayo. Mayo to the line.

Come on, Killer.

Mayo hits the first.

Misses the second, but Gasol taps it out. Grizz ball!!!!

Randolph to the line.

Come on, Zach!!!

Zach hits the first. Game time!!!

Grizz win!!! Grizzlies win!!!

Not like I drew it up, but we'll take it with a likely loss tomorrow night. Good job, boys. Rest up for tomorrow.

It's a new year, and a new Grizz.

2010-01-05T14:33:00.002-06:00

So, I'm back from my little trek and I miss me some Grizz. Shockingly, it is hard to get a Grizz game on tv in Nashville, so I haven't seen the past couple games. So, tonight I will live blog the newly .500 Grizz game with the Blazers. I'm looking forward to it and I hope you guys are too. Comments, as always, will be welcome.

See you tonight.

On 2009...

2009-12-29T22:43:00.002-06:00

So, I haven't posted in a while, which is probably appropriate considering how often I've posted this year. I haven't decided to stop blogging. I've just been busy with work and life. More on that later... That being said, New Years is in a couple days and this is quite literally the last chance I'll have to give a year end rap up of all things Evil. So here goes nothing...

The year started with the inauguration of Barack Obama as President of the United States. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the the happiest days of my life. I still think about it and smile. And as this year has gone by I still believe in the guy. Has everything turned around over night? No. I never thought it would. Progress is slow, but I believe progress is being made. January was good.

February brought the announcement of that the Happy Hour would be on the air. That's good, no?

In March, Coach Cal left. As many of you know, I am not the biggest Memphis fan. I love Memphis, but I am rational about them. I am not rational about the Vols. That is the difference. At the end of the day, that was the biggest story of the year in Memphis. No doubt. Just go watch Kentucky add Xavier Henry and you have what should have been the University of Memphis basketball team. It would have been awesome. Now he's gone and everyone hates him.

In April baseball started and I saw a solo Greg Cartwright show. Neither disappointed.

In May BBQ Fest happens. Go read it.

In June, the Grizz pick Hasheem Thabeet with the second pick in the draft. We'll see how that works out in 2012. I also met Turtle, which, in retrospect, seems important.

Nothing important happened in from July to September apparently. Not sure how that's possible, but if I didn't post about it it didn't happen, right?

October saw the return of the Grizz, the improvement of the Vols and the choking of the Cards. It was a good month overall I guess, although I'm still not able to talk about how the Cards fell apart. Maybe some other time.

November saw the loss of AI and the beginning of the Grizz turnaround. It also saw me turning 32 and Turtle and myself finally admitting that we like each other. Not bad at all if you ask me. It also saw the loss of loyal evilblog reader, Stephanie. Which was awful. Please note, none of you fuckers are allowed to die before me. Sorry, that's just how it's gotta be.

December has been interesting. The Grizz are rolling. The career is slowly taking shape and I'm about to head to Atlanta with Turtle to celebrate the New Year with a Vol victory in basketball and football.

In the end, it's been the weirdest year in my life. Some things have been great, some things have been awful and much of it you didn't hear about. I wish I had an explanation for why. I don't. I guess it just was full of things that didn't seem as entertaining as me just going out and getting drunk. Maybe it would have been. We'll never know, but here's to hoping I figure it out in 2010.

Until then, Merry New year!!!! Go Vols!!!

At what point is it not the Jerkass's fault?

2009-12-18T15:06:00.003-06:00

I don't know if you guys have been paying attention, but there is a serious fight going on in the U.S. Senate over health care reform. And guess who's in the middle... Joe Lieberman!!! Shocker!! My question to you is, is that enough to make him the Jerkass of the Week? I don't know. Look, folks, I hate Joe Lieberman as much as the next guy, maybe even more if the next guy is a Republican. That's not my point here. My point is why the hell are we in the position of counting on Joe Lieberman for a vote? And if we are in position to count on Joe Lieberman for a vote, then why is there no pressure being put on him?

My point here is that it's hardball time. It's not time to negotiate with some guy who can't decide whether or not he is for... well anything. It's time to take away his chairmanship. It's time to move his office. It's time to make him uncomfortable. It's time to take away what power he has. Then it's time to actually make them filibuster. Not threaten to filibuster. Actually filibuster. Have at it, guys. Tell the American people how great the current health care system is. We'll give you all the time in the world. Have at it, but eventually we're going to have a vote on a real health care reform bill.

That's what should be done. Instead the White House is telling Harry Reid to give Joe whatever he wants. Fuck that. Is he a jerkass? Sure. He's won this award a number of times in the past. What's worse is they know he's a jerkass and they are scared. Scared of what? Scared that Joe Lieberman may get up and convince the American people of... well, anything? The guy is a loser. Let him talk. Let Mitch McConnel talk. And talk back. Kick their ass. Quit bitching at each other and get something done for Christ's sake.

For being pussies, I'm naming Harry Reid, Barack Obama, Rahm Emmanuel and the Democratic leadership in the Senate the Jerkass of the Week. Stand up and show some balls like Pelosi for once in your damn life. America needs it.

That's all I got. Have a great weekend. Go to see Rusty's show on South Main tonight and support Bryan tomorrow at Odessa. Go Grizz!!! Get Crunk!!!

Damn you, Jesus Shuttlesworth!!!!

2009-12-16T12:31:00.002-06:00

So, we've learned something about our Memphis Grizzlies over the last week. They appear to be for real. I'm not saying they will make the playoffs. That's tough to do when you start in a hole the way the Grizz did this year. I'm sticking with my mid thirties win expectation.

Having said that, they are for real. How do I know this? Well, first of all, Sunday night they went into Miami and completely embarrassed the Heat on their home court. If I was Dwayne Wade I would have been ashamed of that effort. But since I'm not Dwayne Wade and I am Evil, I was happy as a clam to be a Grizzlies fan. They shut down the Heat. They couldn't be stopped on offense. It was great.

That's not really showed me that the Grizz were for real. Games like that happen in the NBA. It's a long season and sometimes one team gets hot and another doesn't show up. The Knicks game at home last year comes to mind. That stuff just happens over a long season.

Something else happens over the course of a season. Sometimes a team has to play a game in Miami one night and the next night they have to go home and play the Boston Celtics who got into town a night early. Now, anyone who watches some NBA knows what happens. The team on the second half of a back to back doesn't play well. The Celtics get an easy night and Brian Scalabrine gets a lot of minutes.

That's just what happens. You don't get mad about it. You accept it and hope that you can beat the Pacers later in the week. That's just how things work.

Well, that's how things work if you don't have a team that is for real. A team that must be respected. Were they tired? Clearly. Rudy Gay had no legs in the second half. Were they going to give in to that? Nope. They played together and fought through being tired. They showed they were a real NBA basketball team.

That was the most impressive game I have seen out of the Grizz this year. It was more impressive than the Cavs game because the schedule was stacked against them. It was better because the Celtics are better than the Cavs. It was better because the Celtics came in on a 10 game winning streak and needed a miracle to beat the youngest team in the league. It was better because the Celtics got after the Grizz in the second half and the Grizz didn't back down.

They were tired and they were playing a team with three future hall of famers and the put their heads down and went to work. OJ Mayo hit big shots. Rudy Gay hit big shots. They played team defense. They did all these things and it came down to one play. The Celtics were running Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett on a pick and roll every time down the court. It's hard to stop two hall of famers down the stretch on a pick and roll. That's why they run it. Well, Rudy got a finger on the ball and it tipped it away from Pierce. The ball goes out top. Ray Allen picks it up with 1 second on the shot clock. He slings it at the goal. Nothing but net.

That was it. Game over.

The Celtics won. And they deserved to. They are really damn good. I mean really really good. They bring Rasheed Wallace off the bench. I mean, they are the team that can compete with the Lakers for the title. But here's the thing, they had to give it everything they had and won on a miracle shot. I'm not a big fan of moral victories, but I was happy with how well this Grizz team played and I'm looking forward to the game tonight against the Hawks.

Go Grizz!!!!

Oh... and DAMN YOU, JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH!!!!

This just in... young men like good looking ladies.

2009-12-11T12:14:00.003-06:00

So, it seems that the NCAA has figured out how Lane Kiffin has been getting all these recruits to come to the University of Tennessee. Apparently, he figured out that 18 year old boys like hot woman.

This is such big news that the New York Times decided to write an article about college football for the first time in a month. The Times discovered another interesting fact... college kids will go on a road trip for just about anything. According to the Times, a couple of hostesses from the campus group Orange Pride drove almost two hundred miles to see a high school football. In a completely unrelated story, I spent several nights in Johnson City, TN while in college so I could see a little band name Big Ass Truck.

Look, I'm not trying to make light of the NCAA investigating the University of Tennessee's use of their hostess program. Wait... that is exactly what I'm trying to do!!! Really? That is what you can come up with? We've got a program that pretty much every school that cares about football has? Oh, that's right, it's because a girl drove nearly 200 miles to go to the game of a guy that she met a few months earlier. That's the best you got? Really? What's next? Are you going to find out that some of our players drink underage? Shocking!!! Here's another thing you may want to look into, the use of ping pong balls in various drinking games.

Get real. I know Urban Meyer and Steve Spurrier are calling you and crying because they are getting their asses beat on the recruiting trail, but if this is the best you can come up with tell Urban a message for me... Suck it, douchebag. I hope you saved those timeouts, jerk, cause we're coming. We may night get their next year, but we're coming. You know it. We know it. Get used to it.

That being said, the official stance of the University of Tennessee is that we take these allegations very seriously and are cooperating with the NCAA's investigation.

Riiiiiight.

UPDATE: Kids also use the facebook.

I've seen it all.

2009-12-09T16:56:00.003-06:00

I can now die in peace. I have seen things that I never thought were possible. I never thought I would see what I saw in the 4th quarter of the Grizz-Cavs game last night. I saw Rudy Gay play defense. It was unbelievable.

I don't know how it happened (Well, I've got an idea more on that in a bit), but somehow Lionel Hollins informed Rudy that it is ok to try and stop the guy he is guarding from scoring. Granted, the guy he was guarding dropped 43 on him. That's fine. The guy he was guarding LeBron. LeBron shot 29 shots and 11 of those were threes. If you force LeBron to shoot over a third of his shots from three, you're doing a good job. And I said force. Rudy would not let LeBron get in the lane at will in the fourth quarter or overtime, and you know what happened? The Grizz got their second consecutive victory over an elite NBA team. The Grizz won their third game in a row.

Seriously, it's kind of amazing to watch these guys right now. Everyone knows their roles and plays them well. What makes them so effective is that the starting lineup has four guys that are above average NBA players. Now, that's not that amazing. What it does for them is every night they have a mismatch somewhere they can expose. Last night it was Zach Randolph and OJ Mayo. Other nights it's Rudy. Other times it's Marc. There are very few teams in the league that have someone at every position that can deal with those guys, and the Grizz have been doing a great job of exposing those mismatches every night.

Now, I still don't think it's a playoff team, but they are a tough beat. Especially if Rudy Gay wants to play defense. Granted, some of Rudy's new found love for D could be the fact that he's in a contract year. The fact is, in the second half of the game last night he held his own with the second best player in the world. I'm not saying he was better than LeBron, but he was good enough and he was one of the few guys in the world that can compete with LeBron athletically. We'll see what happens, but maybe, just maybe, Rudy Gay is figuring this thing out. He realizes that he is in the top 5% of athletes in a league of athletic freaks. Now, maybe waving a huge contract in front of him is what's making him realize it, but maybe he'll like it.

I hope he does and I hope he keeps doing it for the Grizz. Go Grizz!!!

Why the Heisman Trophy is meaningless.

2009-12-07T14:15:00.004-06:00

I remember the day I stopped caring about who won the Heisman trophy. It was the day Peyton Manning lost to Charles Woodson. How could Peyton not win it? Well, anyone who knows anything knows that ESPN made it their mission to get Woodson that Heisman. And anyone who attended the University of Tennessee stopped caring about the Heisman trophy.

That being said, I find the dilemma Heisman voters have this year very interesting. Basically, they have no clue who to vote for. Coming into the year, it was Tim Tebow or Colt McCoy's award to lose. Well, I wouldn't say they lost it, but they didn't go out there and win it either. So, what do you do?

Well, normally, the Heisman voter looks at the number one team in the country and votes for their best offensive player. The number one team in the country is Alabama. A lot of folks think their best offensive player is Mark Ingram. I think Mark Ingram is good, but I'm not sure he's Alabama's best offensive player and I'm sure he's not their best player. Julio Jones may be better. Terrence Cody, Rolando McClain and Javier Arenas are all better and have more impact on why Alabama wins football games. So, it could be argued that Mark Ingram is the fifth best player on his team... and he's going to win the Heisman?

So, I hear you asking, "Evil, what would your Heisman ballot look like?" Well, I'm glad you asked. Here we go...

1) Ndamukong Suh- So, pretty much everyone believes this guy is the best player in the country. He dominates football games. Why isn't he going to win? He plays defensive tackle and for some reason you can't give the Heisman trophy to folks who play on the line or on defense. Why? This guy is the best player in the country and that's what that award is for.

2) Toby Gerhart- I love big white running backs. So, sue me.

3) Eric Berry- EB is awesome. I thought about putting him second, but I didn't want to accused of being homer. Ah, screw it... Rocky top, bitch!!!
1)

Local Jerkass makes natioinal news.

2009-12-04T15:56:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the lack of posting this week. I have no good excuse. I have had my hands full with Turtle and work, but you guys don't want to hear about that. You want to hear about the Jerkass of the Week!!! Well, fear not kiddos, the JOW is on it's way.

It seems the mayor of Arlington had something to say about our President deciding to discuss his plans for sending 30,000 American soldiers to Afghanistan on Tuesday. You see, CBS was scheduled to play "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on Tuesday, but instead they aired the President's speech. What's the big deal? Well, nothing if you have a brain, but if you are Arlington mayor Russell Wiseman you can see evil in anything the President does. Mayor Wiseman updated his facebook status with the following rant:

Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Special' and our muslim president is there, what a load.....try to convince me that wasn't done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation (sic) about it....w...hen the answer should simply be 'yes'...

Um, where to start. First, he's not Muslim, but even if he was this is just dumb. Later in the thread he stated, "you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different........" Oh, they'd be different alright. We'd live in a worse country.

That's not the point though. I mean I don't care about what the mayor of Arlington thinks. What's hilarious is that he thinks the President is sitting around looking at the tv schedule and figuring out when A Charlie Brown Christmas comes on so he can decide when to give a speech on Afghanistan. Really, Mayor Wiseman. If you think that is really going on in the White House then I fear for what goes on in Arlington city hall. Do you plan your speeches around when Two and a Half Men is coming on? Were you going to build a new school, but you got caught up with the New Adventures of Old Christine? Really, man? Pull yourself together!!!

Seriously, though, this country is in some serious shit. We are fighting two wars, the economy is still in the crapper, one in ten Americans who want work can't find it, etc. etc. You get the point. There is a lot of shit going on and whether or not A Charlie Brown Christmas comes on is probably not one of the President's top 100000000 concerns. Get over yourself. If you want to have your kids watch it, here's an idea, buy the damn DVD.

Anyway, Mayor Russell Wiseman of Arlington, Tennessee is your Jerkass of the Week.

Grizz playing the Mavs tonight. I'll be watching and reporting.

Lackluster playing the Deli tomorrow night. You should be there. We will be bringing a lot of rock.

Have a great weekend, folks. Go Grizz!!! Get crunk!!!

Good Grizz, Bad Grizz.

2009-11-30T13:38:00.003-06:00

Your Memphis Grizzlies really showed how great, and terrible, they can be this weekend. Luckily, I slept through the bad part. Sorry, I was hungover and needed a nap. So, let's just focus on the positives.

The Grizz took it to the Portland Trailblazers on Friday. I don't know who those guys were, but they looked great. They passed. They shot well. The rebounded very well (which at this point is expected). They helped each other out on D. It was awesome to watch and it lead to a 30 point lead in the first half. The Blazers challenged in the fourth, but were never able to get closer than 8 as the Grizz answered every time the Blazers got the lead to single digits. Biggest win of the year for the Grizz and probably the best game I've see them play in a few years. Biggest thing to take from the game was the fact that Jamal Tinsley finished the game. He may not be the starter; but he is the finisher and, contrary to what Allen Iverson thinks, that's what is important. We'll be watching this develop over the next couple weeks.

Yesterday the Grizz rolled into L.A. to take on the Clipjoints. Our boys came out looking great again. It was unbelievable. It made me remember the days when the Grizz used to make the playoffs. We were up by twenty in the third. All was good, but I was sleepy. I had been out rather late with Turtle the night before. We had quite a few beverages. I am getting better at flip cup. Yada yada yada, I fell asleep. I woke up and were down eight with two minutes left. I don't know what happened. Apparently, we stopped scoring, because I think they scored about six points while I was asleep and the Clips scored about thirty. I'll take the heat for this one, guys. My bad. I wasn't ready to play and it showed.

That being said, I'm looking forward to the Grizz heading into an always rowdy arena in Salt Lake City tonight. I look for Jamal Tinsley to get major minutes in order to match up with my favorite point guard in the league, Deron Williams. Look for the Grizz to pound it in to Marc Gasol early in order to get Okur in foul trouble. Okur is very important to the Jazz because he gives them unbelievable spacing on the offensive end, which allows Boozer and Williams to do their thing. If we can get Okur out of the game, it would go a long way to getting a Grizz W.

Speaking of spacing, there was an article in the paper talking about the lack of three point shooting from the Grizz. I talked about this earlier when I talked about how the Grizz are not settling. The article seems to imply that the Grizz not shooting three's (least attempts and makes in the league) is a negative thing. I can see the need for spacing, but I see this as a positive. The only guy on the team that should shoot threes is OJ Mayo. Rudy Gay can shoot some when he's feeling it, but I'd rather have him shoot from mid-range. Tinsley and Conley can hit some threes if they are wide open with set shots, but that should come off of drives or post ups.

My point is, one of the keys to basketball is knowing what you can do and doing only that. I don't want Marc Gasol shooting threes and dribbling up the court. He can't do that, and he shouldn't do that. Overall, the Grizz cannot shoot from three point range. Therefore, they shouldn't. The past few years they haven't been able to shoot from three, but they've attempted to. That's much worse. This team is a power team with all three of their front court starters being able to post anyone up and score. They should milk that. If we can get OJ some open threes, great. If not, force it in the post, get to the line and wear teams down. That's what we do well. Do it until someone stops it.

This is not to say I don't understand the need for spacing. I do. Spacing is the most important thing on offense. The point I would make about that is that while the Grizz don't have many three point shooters, everyone of the starters is very efficient from mid range. Rudy has slowly become deadly from midrange and Marc and Zach both shoot it very well for big men. They don't space it out to the three point line, but they do make them out to 18 feet. That is enough spacing... hopefully.

Util tomorrow, go Grizz!!!

While I was away.

2009-11-24T13:12:00.002-06:00

So, I haven't talked about my Grizz very much lately. Those reasons were more personal than anything to do with the Grizz. I don't know if you've been watching, but the Grizz have won 4 out of 5 games.

Luckily for you, the loyal evilblog reader, JPinto and myself took time out of our busy schedules to go see the boys last night. All I can say is wow. Granted we were playing a terrible team, but it was a terrible team we lost to two weeks ago.

This team is doing a few things really well right now. One is rebounding. They are actually dominating the boards on teams. Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph get almost every rebound. As a long time Grizz fan, it is shocking to see a team with Memphis on their chest out rebound a team by 20 as they did at Philly on Friday night.

Another thing they are doing well is not settling. They only shot 9 threes last night. Granted, I think they are actually overpassing a little right now, but that's much better than settling for threes on every other possession. We're running the offense through Marc Gasol and Rudy and when the starters are in it works really well.

The last thing we're doing is playing a little defense. I'm not saying they are a bunch of stoppers out there, but they are helping and rotating better. It would be better if any of our perimeter defenders could stay in front of their man, but at least those guys aren't getting lay ups anymore. Progress.

Anyway, there is hope in Grizzland and I for one am looking forward to the game verse Phoenix tomorrow night. It'll be nice to see us play a good team for the first time in a bit. Until then, go grizz!!!!

I've been a busy man.

2009-11-20T09:22:00.003-06:00

So, sorry for the lack of posting. I've been really busy. Last weekend I went down to Oxford to watch my Vols not show up, went to the Grizz and saw the Reigning Sound... and that was just on Saturday. I also had my birthday and I saw Son Volt and Bruce Springsteen. It's been a little jam packed.

I'd like to talk about the Griz winning streak, but I didn't see game two because I was at Bruce. I will watch most of it tonight, but I may miss some of it to go see Dan Auerbach. So, yes the rock is winning over the Grizz right now.

Fear not though, loyal Evil readers!!! I plan on doing a Bruce post over at What the Hell Happened to Aerosmith very soon. On top of that, it seems maybe Steven Tyler has been reading my stuff. Oh, that will be covered over there as well.

So, in sum, this is a post about excuses and plans for future post. Eat me.

It's official: AI is gone.

2009-11-16T16:55:00.002-06:00

The Grizz have waived AI.

Dear God, make it stop.

Grizz Win!!!! Who cares?

2009-11-16T12:15:00.002-06:00

Evil Bro and I experienced the second win of the Grizz season on Saturday. Woohoo!!!! We beat a team that sucks even when it has Al Jefferson and Kevin Love, which they didn't. Let's just say that NBA hopes the tape of this game is burned. It was ugly, but we won.

On a lighter note, the onion has taken on the AI situation.

Oh, and we signed Jamal Tinsley. Jamal Tinsley? Yep. Jamal Tinsley.

Orange jerkass.

2009-11-13T18:38:00.002-06:00

This may be the most painful jerkass I've ever had to give. Sure, I've had to give the Jerkass of the Week to some folks I love. Hell, I've had to give it to myself. But, I don't think a JOW award has ever hurt this much.

That's because these week I have to give it to three Vols. That's right. Vols. Janzen Jackson, NuKeese Richardson and Mike Edwards were arrested for attempted armed robbery early Thursday morning. That is jerkass.

It appears Mr. Richardson and Mr. Edwards needed some cash and decided to point a pellet gun in the face of three fellow college students and ask for their cash. Surprisingly, three college students had no money. Mr. Jackson told the others they needed to leave. At which point they jumped in a Prius and went back to their dorm. They were caught shortly their after.

These guys are just dumb. And being dumb is jerkass. Being dumb and costing yourself lots of money is really jerkass. Being dumb and not being able to play against Ole Miss or, most likely, for the University of Tennessee ever again makes you the Jerkass of the Week.

Have a great weekend folks. I got a full one planned. Tomorrow I got the Vols beat down of the Rebs, the Grizz loss and the Reigning Sound at the Tone. Sunday we've got the kickball tourney. Go Achievers!!! Go Vols!!! Go Grizz!!! Get crunk!!!

Grizz induced vomiting.

2009-11-11T12:46:00.003-06:00

So, I went to see the Grizz in person last night. All I can really say is ouch. That is not a good basketball team. They have a few good parts, but it's not a good team.

The Grizz starters held their own as they always do. Then the bench came in. I just gotta say that without AI, their is nothing there. Thabeet came in and promptly got his jaw broke. Sam Young is inconsistent. DeMarre has not shown a consistent 15 footer. Marcus Williams actually played alright, except he can't score. There is no scoring on the bench and there are three rookies. It's not looking good.

I don't know what else to say. These guys are killing me. Here's hoping they turn it around tonight.

AI... that's it?

2009-11-09T12:07:00.002-06:00

The Commercial Appeal is reporting that AI is considering retiring. He left the team after Friday's game for personal reasons. One of the reasons seems to be that Lionel Hollins doesn't even talk to him.

Really, Lionel? You don't even go in there and explain his role to him? You don't talk to the guy? He's a future hall of famer. Hell, he's a player on your damn team. There are only 14 of them. I think you should talk to all of them. Maybe even daily. How hard is it to talk to your players?

I don't know if AI is going to retire. I hope he doesn't. I'd like to see him play more, preferably in a Grizz uniform. We'll see.

I will say that this is the most interesting 1-5 team in history.

Grizz catchup.

2009-11-06T16:15:00.003-06:00

So, the Grizz lost to the Warriors on Wednesday night. The question coming out of that game is, who the hell is going to play some damn D? As far as I can tell, no one.

Hence we will lose to the Lakers tonight. I'd spend time going over matchups, but it seems silly. Unless the Grizz really step up and the Lakers are asleep the Grizz will be 1-5 at the end of the night. If a miracle happens, I'll report on it. If not, on to the Clipjoints tomorrow night.

AI gets the JOW this week for his comments after the Kings game. Look, I know you want to start. Hell, I think you should start. I don't think you need to start or play major minutes in your first game with a new team and no preseason games. Sometimes you gotta just gotta bite your tongue, man. That being said, you gotta love Verno's new tune on the episode.

Have a great weekend, folks. Go Vols!!! Go Grizz!!! Get crunk!!!

Griz v. Warriors pregame.

2009-11-04T11:52:00.002-06:00

First, thanks for everyone checking in on me. I'm gonna be alright. Just give me a bit.

Luckily, the Memphis Grizzlies are doing their best to keep things interesting. One game into his career with the Grizz, Allen Iverson is already complaining about playing time, saying his butt hurt from sitting on the bench. Give it up to Allen, he's always good for a quote.

No worries though, tonight's game should provide plenty of opportunities for AI to play and get some shots up. The small and defensively challenged Warriors may provide to be the perfect antidote to what ails the Grizz.

Two matchups I'm looking forward to checking out tonight are Mike Conley v. Stephen Curry and Zach Randolph v. Anthony Randolph. A lot of folks around these parts have been looking to throw Mike Conley under the bus, but I think the guy has been playing alright since the second half of Game 2. He should have an opportunity to show what he can do verse Stephen Curry who will not give him problems with size or athleticism. I'm looking for Mike to have his best game of the season tonight.

Zach verse Anthony Randolph should be very interesting. Anthony Randolph is 6'11" and weighs about a buck twenty. Zach is, shall we say, a little more rotund. Normally, I'd be worried about this matchup, but I think it provides an opportunity because Anthony Randolph can't shoot so he's not going to be pulling Zach out on the court. On the other end, Zach should be able to bull Anthony Randolph under the rim and score at will.

I think the Grizz actually get a W tonight and score around 120 in doing so. Should be fun for those of you who want to stay up late. I may or may not liveblog it, just depends on the post kickball activities and my mood. Check in if you want.

Until then, Go Grizz!!!!

For my friend.

2009-11-03T01:26:00.004-06:00

I know I am supposed to be writing about the Grizz loss tonight, but something a little more important happened today, so sorry. Loyal evilblog reader, and more importantly Evil supporter, Stephanie died this morning. I am trying to find the words to express how much I loved her, but I can't. She is one of the best drinking buddies I ever had. She is one of the best friends I ever had. I miss her already.

Stephanie was literally one of the very few people I could count on the past few years when I've been going through quite a bit of shit. She's been there any time I needed her in spite of her flighty ways. And today I got a text from her mom that said, "Stephanie mixed the wrong drugs and died this morning..."

...

That's it. That's how I found out about one of my best friends in the world passing. I was driving down Germantown Parkway. I was going to get a McDonald's coke before a closing. I was in the drive thru line. She's dead. That's it.

Stephanie has been one of the few people I could count on the past few years. Has she been through some shit? Has she been a little fucked up from time to time? Sure. So have I. That's why we were great drinking buddies. She'd bitch about her shit. I'd bitch about mine. We'd take a shot or four. Whatever it was, we were there for each other. We were.

Last spring we did a little trip to New Orleans and Destin together. It was awful. We fought like we were an old married couple. Every night she wanted to go hang out with these jerkass lawyers who were at the CLE we were at and I wanted to watch basketball and drink on the beach in the dark. We took shots and got over it. Some nights she won, some nights I did. God, I wish I could fight with her like that tonight.

We had fell apart the last few months, as we often did. She met some dude. I met a lady. Yada yada. We would go to lunch or happy hour and catch up. I missed her. She missed me. We were happy. Or at least that's what we said. I wasn't, and I don't think she was either. We still talked. She got engaged. I hoped she'd finally be happy.

Last week she called me and she seemed different. I can't really explain it. She was upset about any number of things. Her law practice. Her relationship with her mom. It didn't seem like anything that we hadn't conquered with a few beers before. I told her I was available whenever she wanted. She said she'd call. She never did... She said she'd call. She never did.

That's the last time I heard from her. She's gone now. I don't know yet how she died, but I know why and I can't help but think I could have done something. I guess sometimes some people are so sad you can't make them happy. That's probably true. I just have seen her happy too many times to believe that right now. I just wish I could see her happy one more time. I wish we could do one more shot, have one more beer, one more whatever and I could tell her it's gonna be alright... but right now, I'm having a hard time believing it's gonna be cause I miss my drinking buddy and my friend. Goodnight, Steph. It'll be alright. I promise.

I wish I could tell her that because I think that maybe the world would still be able to get everything she had to offer. Was she the best person I ever met? No, but am I? Hell no. What she was was one of the few people I've ever met that gets, sorry got, me and accepted me for what I am.

She'd call me up and say she needed some girl time. I'd laugh and say let's get some shots and I'd spill my guts. Sometimes she'd take pity and make out with me. Sometimes she wouldn't. Sometimes she'd tell me to man up. Sometimes she'd even tell me I was right. She always understood.

I don't know what else to say about her. She was there for me in the most tumultuous years of my life. I started a band when I was thirty? She was there and brought people. I wrote a blog? She read it and tried to get other people to do so. I got a radio show? She listened and made other people. To be honest, there is no one in my life over the past few years that supported me more than Stephanie did and I'm sorry I never thanked her. I hope she knew that I supported her in the same way.

I hope she knew how much I and so many people loved her and believed in her, but I'm sure she didn't and that's what hurts. It hurts because if she knew she'd still be here; and I wouldn't miss her as much as I already do.

Back in Black.

2009-11-02T11:04:00.004-06:00

One of the problems with blogging on the Grizz is I am going to have trouble doing much else. There are 82 Grizz games, plus a lot of Grizz drama that will be going on behind the scenes. That's a lot to write about.

I can't resist talking about my Vols though. They dominated on Saturday night. Folks all over the country are saying they are back. I still have worries about next year. The offensive line and quarterback situations could be big problems. I'm not saying Lane is not moving this in the right direction. I just think next year is the tough year in the rebuilding. You don't build offensive lines over night. We're in on some bigtime O-line recruits, but I don't like the idea of starting a bunch of Freshmen on the line against a SEC schedule.

On a lighter note, the University of Memphis Tigers come to K-town this weekend. Do you know how much I love this? Well, I asked two of my favorite Tiger fans if they knew who UT played next week. Their answer? Ole Miss? Off week? They don't know. We play the Tigers!!! I'm looking forward to seeing if Tommy can save his job. I'm looking forward to people remembering the one time the Tigers have beaten the Vols. I'm looking forward to all of it.

By the way, Tiger fans, Drogba and I have taken care of your coaching search. Hire Charlie Strong and call it a day. Give him money to hire a staff. Build facilities that are better than the high schools in the area and let Charlie do his thing. That is all.

Last, I couldn't help but notice the Georgia Bulldogs lost to Florida... again. I gotta think that there are some Georgia boosters who are getting a little sick of losing to Tennessee and Florida all the time. I see only one solution. Fire Mark Richt!!!! Come on Georgia, you can do it!!! Just let him walk to Florida State. You don't need a loser like that coaching you. Come on, Dawgs!!!

On a side note, just look at the years when Tennessee was a dominant program and what Georgia was doing. I'm just saying... FIRE MARK RICHT!!!!

Game 3 wrap up/ Game 4 preview/AI Edition

2009-11-02T10:25:00.002-06:00

Lot's of Grizz news, let's get it going.

First, tough loss for the Grizz last night. OJ Mayo dropped 40 for the first time in his career. What's scary is he did so with only two free throws. Note to NBA refs: OJ Mayo is a budding superstar. It's time to give him a couple of calls. He's going to the hole more, give him the damn call. Speaking of refs, they were a major part of the game last night. They basically made three fifths of the Grizz starting lineup sit out the third quarter. Sadly, Marcus Williams couldn't pick up the slack for Mike Conley and the Grizz sputtered, while the Nugs opened up a double digit lead.

The boys in Beale Street Blue played hard though. The starting lineup seems to be tough for folks to deal with. Everyone can score and everyone is at least somewhat willing to pass. Even Mike Conley has shown a willingness to use his quickness to go to the hole. One things for certain, these are not Mike Fratello's Grizz. These boys can score. We'd like to see a little more D though.

Speaking of D, the big news of the night appears to be a shouting match between OJ and Rudy late in the fourth quarter. OJ apparently yelled at everyone to get back on D and get some stops. Seems appropriate. Rudy took offense and yelled back. Also, seems somewhat appropriate. The officiating seemed to be really getting to Rudy. He had several drives in the second half where he got fouled and it wasn't called. He also was having to the deal with 'Melo who is playing out of his mind right now. He dropped 43 last night.

All parties tried to put out the fire after the game. They said all the right things. It was a heat of the battle type of thing. Rudy pointed out that OJ and he worked out together all summer. They are fine. Or are they?

This is important because a season which everyone predicts will be filled with drama didn't need anymore. Well, we're getting some tonight. Reports from all over say tonight is the night. AI is back. I think the Grizz need this right now. There is no scoring off the bench. I pointed out earlier that this starting lineup can score. Well, the bench has nothing. There is DeMarre Carroll hustling and.... well, Thabeet did have 4 blocks, 6 rebounds and 6 fouls in 12 minutes last night. AI is needed off the bench. The problem is we all know he won't be happy with that. Let's just hope he takes a while to work himself into shape off the bench, or that Mike Conley mans up and shows AI that he deserves to start, because that's the only way this will work.

Luckily, we're playing the Kings tonight. As long as we hold Kevin Martin under 45 we should be ok. Granted, it's never easy to win the second game of a back to back on the road. That being said, it's one of the few games on the schedule where the Grizz have clear talent advantage and AI playing should give the guys an emotional boost. I know Tyreke got hurt the other night and I haven't seen whether or not he's available tonight. I hope so, cause I'd sure like to see it.

Last, but certainly not least, the deadline to sign Rudy to an extension is tonight at 10:59 central time. The Celtics just announced that they signed Rondo to a 5 year/ $55 million deal. That's good for the Grizz. Rondo has had success on a playoff team. He dominated last year in the playoffs. If he gets $55 million then Rudy has to get less. We'll see though. I have said all along that I am for letting Rudy become a restricted free agent and letting everyone know we'll match any offer. That should give us the best possible deal. The cap is going down and there shouldn't be too many folks going after Rudy when Chris Bosh, D Wade and a guy name LeBron will be on the market. That's how I see it at least.

One more thing. How 'bout Drogba's boy Manu...

Wow.

Go Grizz!

Game 2: The Return of the Grizz?

2009-10-30T20:10:00.017-05:00

Well, I'm staying in for a night with the Grizz and the free NBA league pass,so I figure I'll just update this "live". Here's some thoughts on the first half:

-Zach Randolph rebounds like a man possessed.

-We may have to double team Bosh. He's got 25 and 7 at half. I know they've got shooters everywhere, but damn.

-OJ is making some shots.

-Rudy is being very agressive... as he should be.

-Marcus Williams outplayed Mike Conley. Conley came out fairly agressive, then had a few turnovers in his second shift.

-DeMarre Carroll plays HARD.

That being said, aside from the turnovers, it was close to a perfect first half. I'm a little worried that we shot 56% and are only up 53-49. We've got to keep up the intensity to have a shot at the W. I wouldn't count on Bargnani having zero in the second half. Less turnovers, same rebounding. Let's get a W!!!

On to the second half...

-If Marc can stay out of foul trouble, Bargnani may have a long night.

-Good high low action with Zach and Marc to start the half.

-Horrible call for Marc's fourth. That could be huge.

-Gasol is out. Bargnani has 10 this quarter.

- Grizz playing with good pace. I like it.

- I'm starting to really like Zach Randolph. Dude just works.

- Let's see if Marcus Williams continues to outplay Conley.

- I think it's important to point out that Hasheen Thabeet has not been in the game.

- Down 79-76 going to the 4th.

- 4th quarter. Let's hear it Grizzlies fans!!!

- RUDY!!! HOLY CRAP!!

- Is Rasho Nastarovic killing us? Rasho Nastarovic?

- 88-80. We need a run.

- Randolph and Conley back in. Rudy getting a quick blow.

- Sorry, OJ getting a break. They can't both wear these sleaves!!!

- Grizz in the bonus with 9 minutes to go. Daddy like.

- Tie ball game!!!! Go Grizz!!!

- Can we slow down Chris Bosh? We're about to find out.

- DeMarre is making it hard to put OJ back in.

- Veteran move by Turkoglu. Give him 3 shots. Damn.

- Nice play by Gasol. 3 the old fashioned way.

- Well, if they're going to give Bosh that call, we can't stop him.

- The Juice is loose!!! For three!!!!!!!

- Grizz up five. Offensive rebound by Gasol. Bargnani fouls out!!! Wow, did someone read my preview?

- Nice job, Marc! Grizz of 7.

- Mayo steal and dunk!!!

-1:30 left. 107-101 Grizz.

- Huge shot by Mayo!!! Grizz up 6 with 47 ticks left on the clock.

- Carroll making plays. Refs blew that call. It's two shots and the ball. Whatever. Up 7. 38.2 left.

- Bosh chokes.

- Knock 'em down Marc.

- Up 9. 26.6 left. OJ to the line.

- Wrap it up!!! First Grizz win of the year. Mike gets the double double. Good second half for him. All five starters in double figures.

So there it is, folks. Your Memphis Grizzlies are a .500 basketball team!!! On to Denver Sunday night. The Evilblog gameball goes to Zach Randolph. Nice work, boys. I'm going to attack some beers and watch some more games.

NBA Preview.

2009-10-30T14:20:00.003-05:00

I never got around to this earlier, but I think it's ok for me to put this out there now. I hope you guys will forgive me. Here goes nothing...

First, I'll start with who's gonna win it all. Everyone seems to agree that only five teams can win it all. The Lakers, Spurs, Celtics, Magic and Cavs are it. Everyone else is just playing the season out. I'll go a step further. I do not believe there is any way in hell the Cavs, as currently constructed, can win an NBA title. Do they have the second best player in the league? Sure. Do they have anyone else? Nope. They've got a fat Shaq and Mo Williams. Wow. That being said, what's gonna kill the Cavs is the same thing that killed them last year. Their bigs can not keep up with the 4's and 5's that can do a pick and pop. They couldn't do it against the Magic and they were exposed.

So, what did Cleveland do? They went and got Shaq. Why? How the hell does that help your problems? Shaq can hardly move at all. So, now they've got Varaejo, Big Z and JJ Hickson. Who's guarding Rashard Lewis? Who's guarding Rasheed Wallace? The answer is no one. Unless they make a trade to acquire and athletic four, they can't beat the Celtics or the Magic.

Now we're down to four teams, who wins it all? In the West I like the Spurs. I just think there is no way they have as many injuries and they added a lot of athleticism in the offseason. I do not like the addition of Ron Artest for the Lakers. They say the guy is a defensive stopper. He's not. He was. He's not anymore. Trevor Ariza is a guy who can guard quick perimeter players and hit threes. Plus he has no ego. So, with the Lakers getting a little worse and the Spurs getting better I'm taking the Spurs.

In the East, it's either Orlando or the Celtics. I think the Celtics make another run to the finals. Now, if Garnett goes down again I'm taking this back, but assuming he's healthy, I like the Celts.

I'm picking the Spurs to win it all. Tim Duncan needs another ring. He'll go get it.

Some other predictions:

MVP: Kobe.
Defensive POY: Dwight Howard
ROY: Tyreke Evans
Sixth Man: Manu
Coach: As always, Jerry Sloan.

Finally, I always pick a team that I like to watch outside of my Grizz. Last year it was Denver when they got Billups. This year I'm saying the Thunder. I think Durant is going to lead the league in scoring and those kids are going to be fun to watch. Well, as much as I can get Oklahoma City games on TV.

So, that's it. Now, let me get my couch ready for eight months of NBA basketball. It's faaaaaaantatstic!!!!

Grizzlies Game 2 Preview.

2009-10-30T13:28:00.003-05:00

Well, your Memphis Grizzlies are looking to come back from an embarrassing loss to the Detroit Pistons on Wednesday night. The Toronto Raptors come to town tonight high off a big win over Cleveland on Wednesday. Let's just say it doesn't look good.

I honestly don't see how the Grizz matchup in this one. The Raptors frontline features Chris Bosh, Andrea Bargnani and Hedo Turgoglu. Three skilled men who can stretch the floor. On top of that they've got one of the better distributors in the league in Jose Calderon. The Grizz, who are not none for the D, are gonna have a hard time guarding all those shooters. Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph just are not quick enough to get out on Bosh and Bargnani. It ain't gonna happen.

That being said, there is a reason they play the games. I'd like to see the Grizz pound the ball down low to Randolph and Gasol early and often. While Bosh and Bargnani are skilled, they are not known as interior defensive stopper to say the least. The Grizz have got to get one of Bargnani or Bosh out of the game. Otherwise, the Raptors just have too many shooters. If that doesn't happen (and I generally don't like a gameplan in an NBA game that counts on getting someone in foul trouble. The refs generally don't let that happen.), look for the L-Train to go small and give DeMarre Carroll a lot of run at the 4. Here's to hoping DeMarre can live up to his preseason hype as a fan favorite.

Speaking of fan favorites, AI says he's ready to go. The Grizz are saying they want him to get in a little better shape before he comes back. Word on the street is they are targeting Monday. I say that's a load of crap. Let AI play 10-12 minutes tonight. It's a home game. He's Allen freakin' Iverson. I already got Turtle in my ear saying that she thinks he's faking. Let's get one thing straight, AI will play if you let him play. He'll play harder than anyone else on that team. If he's ready to go then give him some damn minutes.

Which leads me to the big question circulating Memphis... Is there any way AI doesn't start for this team? Unless a different Mike Conley shows up over the next couple games, I don't see it. I'm sorry, but I just don't see a way you tell a future hall of famer he is backing up Mike Conley. I wish there was. It probably would be better for the team. It just ain't happening. Nor should it. Mike Conley needs to earn his time for once. He's been given every chance to be the man. If he can't do it, let AI do it.

One last thing, I'm really liking this OJ-DeRozan matchup tonight. OJ needs to get rolling. He had a terrible preseason and had what may have been the worst game of his career on Wednesday. I really like DeRozan in last years draft and look forward to seeing him in the NBA. He's a freak athlete and has a sweet jumper. That being said, he's a rookie in his second game and OJ should be able to take advantage of that. If not, it is going to be a long night.

I'll be back with a post game wrap up either late tonight or at some point tomorrow. Unitl then... Let's go Grizzlies!!!

That hurt.

2009-10-29T23:54:00.003-05:00

I don't really have much to say about game one of the season. Marc Gasol is the only grizz who looked like a real NBA player. Zach Randolph and Rudy looked alright, but other than that it was pathetic.

I really don't have words to express how unimpressed I was by the boys in beale street blue. Mike Conley was pathetic. OJ has not hit a shot all of preseason and now into the regular season. Thabeet is terrible. Carrol and Young played awful. No one played defense.

That being said, it's just one game. They can turn this around... a little. I don't think Hollins is going to get these guys to play D. It's not coaching, it's effort. That being said, we should score more and we will. I'm looking forward to Friday night. I have hope, although not much. I mean I hope we win over 30 games.

... and so it begins.

Let the games begin!!!

2009-10-28T14:51:00.002-05:00

Tonight's the night, folks!!! It's opening night for your Memphis Grizzlies down there at the FedEx Forum. Three 6 Mafia will be there. Lil Rounds will be there. Sadly, AI will not be playing and I will not be there. Fear not, evilblog reader. I will have a game post up by tomorrow. I will break down the film and tell you what I found interesting about the first game of the season.

I would like to say it's great to have some Grizz back in my life. I am predicting a big W for the boys in beale street blue tonight. One of 34 for the season!!!

So, let's hear it!!! Go Grizzlies!!!!

We had it!!! Arrrrrgh!!!

2009-10-26T11:30:00.002-05:00

So, that one hurt. There's no other way to put it. We had the number one team in the country on the ropes in their own stadium and we blew it. We had two kicks blocked in the fourth quarter. ARRRRGH!!!

I am proud of my boys. It looks like we have a quarterback. I am really proud of the coach staff, who seem to be able to put together great game plans every single week. This is a process. This is a rebuilding year and I like the direction of the program.

The only thing I'd like to add is... ARRRRRGH!!!! You gotta win that one. We got a lot of breaks. Mark Ingram doesn't fumble. He did Saturday. You don't get onside kicks. We did Saturday. You gotta get a damn field goal off. I'm staying calm. I still love my boys. I do. I am keeping it in perspective, but it would have been really nice to win that one. Really nice, Clark.

And to think of my poor brother in Detroit. The poor guy goes to sports bars in Detroit and I'm sure he gets screwed. You mean you don't want to watch the Minnesota-Michigan State game? What gives? We'll put you on this black and white tv over there. That poor guy had no one to hug after the game. I love you, bro. Move back down south.

That being said, it's going to be a big week for the blogging. I have begun a new post for What the Hell Happened to Aerosmith. I'll either finish it tonight or tomorrow. I'm pretty pumped about it. Then on Wednesday, we've got the Grizz tip off. I will not be able to liveblog it because I've got an Achiever game, but trust me this and every other Grizz game will be covered with the insight and humor you have begun to expect from the Evilblog. I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you.

Until then, I would prefer all of your smart ass comments about Big Mac being the Cards new hitting coach be placed below. I know. It's funny. Have fun with it.

I will give my all for Tennessee today!

2009-10-23T11:30:00.003-05:00

I may not be very bright, but it seems to me that the third Saturday in October was last Saturday. Forgive for being confused, but it seems two teams usually face each other on the third Saturday in October. Which two teams would that be?

Well, as we all know, the University of Tennessee Football Volunteers are taking on the alabama crimson tide tomorrow afternoon. For some reason they are playing this week and not last week, but that will not take any luster off this game. As has been discussed in this space before, this is the game. You gotta beat Bama. Well, you gotta beat Bama, Georgia and Florida, but you've always had to beat Bama.

Phil Fulmer got that. You can say what you want, but Phil Fulmer understood the importance of this game. I hope Lane Kiffin does. If he doesn't now. He will very soon.

This is a war. There is no other way to put it. Every year this is the hardest hitting game on the Vols schedule, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's as though it is meant to be.

Now, the Vols are up against this year. As we all know, the Vols are rebuilding and Bama is ranked #1 in the AP poll. I think Alabama is clearly the best team in the country. They just beat people up. That being said, I think the Vols have shown a willingness to play physical. I'm not saying that UT wins. Like I said, Bama is pretty damn good. I'm just saying that those boys from Alabama will remember this game. They'll be feeling it for the next week. They'll be talking about it for the rest of year.

So, go make us proud Vols. You may be outgunned, but you will not be outwilled. I don't think that is a word, but you get the point. Go Vols!!! Rocky Top, Bitch!!!

I don't know if this is jerkass, but...

2009-10-16T11:27:00.004-05:00

So, I really don't have a lot jerkasses to complain about this week. Health care reform got through the Senate Finance Committee, and although Joe Lieberman is being a jerkass about his vote he can't get a JOW for that. Nope, that is not even living up to the jerkass standards of Joe Lieberman, much less the JOW.

I have to say, it's been a pretty decent week. Went and saw the Grizz on Monday. I don't want to talk about it. I will talk about it, at length, in the future. Just not yet. Let's just say that I have my doubts. My basketball team got our ass handed to us on Tuesday. Kickball got rained out on Wed. And I am still recovering from the strange baby disease JPinto passed on to me at the Grizz game...

Actually, come to think of it, it was a shitty week. Why the hell do I feel alright about it? I don't know. Maybe I'm still living off the glow of Wilco and the Vol victory last night. Or maybe it's because no matter what happened this week I didn't get embarrassed on national television like this...

Really, Kareem? Really? You can't remember who followed you in the post at UCLA? You can't remember the only line of your acting career? Wow. Just wow. I'm not naming you the Jerkass of the Week, but maybe we should consider making a new award named the Dumbass of the Hour. (Doh!!!) I'm not ready to take it that far, but you're on notice folks.

Have a great weekend. Get crunk, stay clean and keep the dream!

Can I ask you a question?

2009-10-15T12:36:00.002-05:00

So, the other night I was talking to a buddy of mine. Said buddy of mine has a a neighbor who is gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Anyway, said friend goes to neighbors house for a party. Later in the evening said gay neighbor ask if he can give said friend of my friend oral pleasures. Now, of course my friend said no. He's not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. That's not the point. The point is my friend said he was offended.

Offended? Why? I'm not saying he should or should not have taken the guy up on the offer. That's a personal call. But, why in the hell would you be offended? Then he said he'd have been offended if a woman asked him, too!!! Now I think he might be gay. Look, I may be a manslut for saying this, but at this point in my life (single, yada yada) it would take a lot for a woman to offer me the oral pleasures and me to say no, much less for me to be offended. I'm offended by very little I know, but this just seems silly.

Discuss.

Well, that was unexpected.

2009-10-12T11:31:00.005-05:00

I never thought, in my life, that I would see this headline. Go read it. Do it. I'll wait here.

It says, "Crompton named SEC Offensive Player of the Week." How did that happen? I have no idea. I do believe that his receivers catching the ball helped. I believe using play action and rollouts helped. I believe Georgia not being good helped. Put that all together and I still don't know how that guy looked like a Heisman candidate, but he did. That's a good start of the day on a Saturday.

That being said, the reason I didn't post on Friday is because I was devastated by the Cardinals loss on Thursday. It took me a couple days to shake that off. I think I am now ready to talk about it.

The day started off just fine. I was trying to figure out if I was going to be able to watch the Cardinals and go to the Lucero show at the Shell, but that's about all the worries I had. It was decided that the mojo needed the crew at the Brookhaven. The Red Rocket and myself got up there a little early and got hyped. We needed this one. We're down 1-0 and we can't go down 2-0. No worries. We've got Adam Wainwright going. There is no fear in this dojo. We shall overcome.

The game starts and everything is going great. Wainwright, unlike Chris Carpenter, actually looks like himself. Matt Holliday remembered how to hit and went year. It's going to be a good day. Hell, the game was moving quick and I was going to see Lucero. All was right in the world.

Then it happened. Wainwright gave all he could give and got pulled after 8 innings. Going into the bottom of the 9th the Cards have a 2-1 lead. Trevor Miller came in and got out Andre Either. One down. Time for Ryan Franklin. He gets Manny to pop out. Two down!!! One more, baby. James Looney lines to left. Here we go!!!! Series is ti... What the fuck!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Matt Holliday just dropped it. Argh!!!!!

It's ok. We can recover. I mean we still just need one out. It's fine. We can do this. Well, we didn't. Franklin walked two guys. Ronnie Belliard hit a damn curveball for the first time in his life. A 57 year old Mark Loretta hits a ball off his hands into center and that's that. Game over. Cards lose 3-2. Argh.

Well, I gotta go to Lucero. That's what I need. Some rock n' roll music. So, I get there and what's the first thing that happens? Well, this blur goes by me as I'm trying to find my peeps. What was that? Oh, it's Turtle. Good for her. In the future, please avoid talking to me as though I actually did something to you, I find it much more entertaining. Anyway, I find the peeps and all is good. Then I get a text from the X. "Stand up." Ok, I'll play this game. I stand. There she is. That's fine. We get along fine at this point. It's not weird at all that she's there with the dude she dumped me for. It's fiiiiiiine.

I go up front to watch the rock. For those of you who don't know, Lucero is now armed with a horn section. It's very interesting. I think some folks may not like it. I know some folks do. I'll give them a passing grade. Some of the arrangements are a little weak, but I like the effort. I'd say the big surprise was that they added horns to all the old stuff. I thought it would just be the new stuff. "Tonight ain't gonna be good" and "What else would you have me be" were standouts for me. We'll see where they go from here.

After the show I go meet all the peeps and discuss the virtue of horns in Lucero and the sociological experiment that is my life. Whatever, I'm going to the bar. I decide to get a quickie at the ole' Bosco's. That'll make me feel better about everything. It'll be great.

So, I get there and who's the first person I see? The Dish!!! I love it. Great night all around. Craigers immediately comes up to me and says hes sorry, she just showed up. What I don't get is what the hell he's sorry about. What could he even do? I have no idea. It's fine. Contrary to Turtle, I know why the Dish doesn't talk to me. She, for good reason, thinks I'm an asshole. I don't think I am, but I'm not going to fight with her about it. We sit across the bar from each other and act like we have never met. It's fine.

I drink my beer and end my three ex evening. Only one word can be used to describe it: Classic. So, anyway, that's why there was no jerkass of the week post on Friday. If you need one I guess Turtle and the Dish vote for me.

We talkin bout hamstrings.

2009-10-08T15:26:00.002-05:00

So, Memphis, it looks like our big acquisition is out for a little bit. An MRI revealed that our boy AI has a partially torn hamstring. He should be out three weeks, which just so happens to coincide with opening night. That's good, I guess.

I would like to see the boys get a chance to play together and establish roles in the preseason, but it is what it is as they say. Lionel and the boys will have just have to adjust to life without AI before they adjust to life with AI.

In other injury news, Darrell Arthur is still out with a strained pectoral muscle, and since his name is not Allen Iverson, I can find no info as to when he will return.

Believe it or not, the Grizz did play last night in spite of AI's absence. The star of the night was rookie shooting guard Sam Young. By all reports the Thunder could do nothing to contain him and he got to the line at will. I like it. I like it a lot. Combine him with future fan favorite DeMarre Carroll, and it looks like these Grizz rooks may be providing a lift off the bench. (I'm leaving Hasheem Thabeet out of this. I think he sucks. I hope he proves me wrong. Please! Please!! Prove me wrong!!) That's not too bad for a late first round and early second round pick.

That being said, it's hard to figure out anything about the grand experiment that is the Memphis Grizzlies until AI is playing with these guys. Until then, we'll watch the rookies develop and hope Zach Randolph doesn't punch anyone in the face.

Ugh.

2009-10-08T13:01:00.003-05:00

Well, that didn't start off like we would like...

For the first time in months, Chris Carpenter did not have his A game. Hell, he didn't even have his B game. He couldn't hit his spots and was wild in the zone. Our relievers weren't much better. Only Blake Hawksworth looked like his normal self.

I'm not trying to throw the pitchers under the bus here, though. Our hitters could not come through with runners on. It looks like Joe Torre has decided that Albert Pujols is not going to beat him. Very wise man, that Joe Torre. Matt Holliday is going to have to step it up if we're going to have a shot in this series. I expect that will happen.

I also want to point out that Skip Schumaker looked mighty comfortable at the plate last night vs the lefties. Keep him in there, Tony!!! Oh, and Colby Rasmus is my pick to click. I got a good feeling about this kid. Maybe it has something to do with this...

Ummmmm, moving on.....

All hope is not lost. We've got Adam Wainwright going to the hill today. Hopefully he'll be sharp and we get some runs early. That would be nice after the longest game in NLDS history last night. Being that stressed out for that amount of time is not good for a man coming up on 32 years old. So, Waino, why not just throw a shutout and get on the plane back to St. Louis? I like it. The mojo will be watching somewhere, so if you want to see grown ass men look like fools give me a holler.

No video stream= no liveblog.

2009-10-06T19:04:00.001-05:00

Sorry. I know you guys wanted to read my thoughts on a preseason game. Next time.

It begins tonight.

2009-10-06T11:18:00.003-05:00

So, part of the return of the blog is that I'm pretty sure there is going to be plenty for me to write about the next few months. That all begins tonight...

Your Memphis Grizzlies begin the most interesting season in the history of the franchise tonight when they tip off the preseason against the Washington Wizards. (I will liveblog it if I can find a stream of it on the internets. You heard me! Liveblog!) I am predicting this season is going to have more than enough for me to cover here on this little blog. Between the additions of AI and ZBo, the pending emergence of Rudy Gay and OJ Mayo as stars, the lack of a contract for coach Lionel Hollins and the bust that will be Hasheem Thabeet; I figure someone should be writing a book about this years Grizzlies. Considering I don't think that's happening and the fact that the Commercial Appeal refuses to hire Ron Tillery, you're going to need to get your Grizz news somewhere besides from the Memphis Flyer. Well, evilblog reader, I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you. It should be interesting.

The big news today, which Ron Tillery has yet to report, is that Allen Iverson is not playing tonight. While that sucks, it's probably nothing big. They're saying it's a hamstring strain. It's the preseason. He's old. You sit unless you're feeling great. They are going to do an MRI and when I hear about the results, I'll pass it along. Other than that, I'm looking forward to seeing the boys from the south tip off another season tonight. Go Grizz!!!

Another topic that will be discussed heavily for the near future is the St. Louis Cardinals making another postseason run. That's right, Cubs fans, the postseason starts tomorrow!!! October is different and the mojo is coming. Consider yourselves warned.

Until then, let's go Grizzlies!!!!

Why do Conservatives hate this country?

2009-10-04T10:38:00.000-05:00

I knew it!!! I'm surrounded by jerkasses!!!

2009-10-02T12:00:00.004-05:00

One of the big problems with not doing the blog for so long is that I was not able to point out jerkass behavior in the world. I think this has had a negative impact on the world community, and for that I am sorry. To make up for it, I am going to give you guys some bonus jerkasses this week. That's right, folks!!! Multiple jerkasses for the the price of one!!! Try getting that on the douche's blog!!! As an added bonus, I am going to give a couple kickasses as well. You're welcome.

The first JOW Award this week goes to Senator Max Baucus. For all the excuses that some folks want to make for him, it doesn't change the fact that this guy is the chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. He's in charge of the bill. He calls himself a Democrat. Yet, he says he won't vote for a public option because he doesn't think it can get sixty votes. First, it never will with that kind of thinking. Second, it actually doesn't need sixty votes to pass. You only need sixty votes for cloture. Different votes. Different pressures can be put on Senators. Third, this is committee. Your committee. Lead. Fourth, grow a pair you freaking jerkass!!!!

The second JOW award goes to Minority Leader John Boehner. This jerkass had a doubleshot of jerkassity this week. First, he attacks the President for going to speak to the IOC in an effort to get the Olympics for Chicago. Look, I know it's John Boehner's job to attack the President. He is the leader of the loyal opposition. I get that. Here's the thing. Chicago is an American city. What American doesn't want America to host the Olympics? Now, maybe some folks in Chicago don't want it because they don't want it to interrupt their busy lives. Other than that, who doesn't want the Olympics to be in America, and in Chicago for that matter. It would be awesome. Also, I'd point out that every other chief executive went. It's what you do ever since Tony Blair helped London land the 2012 games. It's how the game is played. Boehner says that he's the President of the United States, not the mayor of Chicago. I would point out that Chicago is in America, and that he's a jerkass.

John Boehner's second jerkass comment this week came when he claimed that he hasn't met anyone that supports the public option outside of Washington. Now, I'm not going to question his honesty, but how is that even possible? I mean even the worst polls show the public option having support somewhere in the low 40's. Sure, it depends on how the question is asked, but that's the low end. It goes as high as the mid 60's. He honestly hasn't met anyone who supports it? Not one person? John, get out of the tanning bed a little more. Go out to eat back in Ohio. Meet some of your constituents. Not just the insurance execs that pay for your campaigns. I mean real people. We're out here. Oh, and I haven't met anyone who thinks that tan is for real, jerkass. Oh, and watch this...

Go meet him, jerkass.

The final JOW goes out to the biggest jerkass in the world of college football. That's righ, Urban, I'm looking at you. Here's the deal. We all know Urban is a jerkass. He coaches Florida for God's sake. That is jerkass in itself. This season Urban has taken his jerkassity to another level though. Well, maybe not another level, but a more public one. It all starts this offseason when Lane Kiffin has the nerve to say that the Vols are going to beat Florida. According to reports, Urban's butt buddy Tim Tebow text Urban that they need to make sure to save some timeouts for the Vols so they can run up the score like they did against Georgia last year. First, you guys are jerkasses for that alone, but that's fine. If you want to run up the score more than you did two years ago in Florida when you kept Tebow in the game late in the fourth quarter to throw when you were up by thirty, have at it. Justice will come. Fast forward to the UT-Florida game a few weeks ago. Turns out the Gators didn't get to run up the score. Turns out the Vols, without a quarterback, only lost by ten. Turns out that the Gators didn't want to use those timeouts because that meant they would get hit in the mouth some more.

That's fine. Lesson learned. Don't talk about running up the score. It makes you look like a douche. Well, it didn't end there. Urban then says Lane wasn't trying to win and that his team had the flu. Look, Urban, you won. Move on. This is your last season with the lord and savior, Tim Tebow. Enjoy it. Nope, Urban goes half a week talking about why he didn't get to run up the score. Tough break, Urban. It must be tough walking out the door and tripping over five star recruits. Shut up.

Even that wasn't enough for our boy Urban though. No. He's taking it to another level. Last week this happened...

Ok, so why does this make Urban a jerksas? Well, first let me tell you my top three jokes from Saturday night when this happened.

1) So, Tim Tebow is talking to Jesus after the game like he always does and he says, "Jesus, usually when I drop back in the pocket I see two set of footprints, but tonight I only saw one. What happened?" Jesus responds, "That's cause you got knocked the fuck out!!!!"

2) Do you know what's really horrible about this? Kentucky doesn't allow gay couples visitation rights, so Urban can't even go see Tebow in the hospital.

3) When the camera shows the Florida fans, "Folks, we now know what the apostles looked like when Jesus was crucified."

All kidding aside, concussions are serious. Ask Steve Young. They are not be messed around with. Which is why Urban is a real jerkass. Urban says Tebow should be ready to go against LSU. Actually, he says it's in the hands of the doctors. Do you know who pays for those doctors? The University of Florida. Do you know who the biggest dog there is? Urban Meyer. Seriously, if you don't want Tim Tebow speaking jibberish later in life you do not let him play in that game. I'm sorry, but that is jerkass.

Moving on to the kickass portion of the program. Two things. First, Lucero is coming out with their major label debut on Tuesday. They are celebrating with a party at the Deli on Tuesday and a show at the Shell on Thursday. I've loved those guys for a long time and I am happy as a clam for them. Also, on the music tip, it seems as though Lackluster may not be dead. There are practices scheduled and shows shouldn't be that far off. That, my friends, is pretty kickass.

Have a great weekend folks. Get crunk!!! Go Vols!!!

I'm back.... and I'm pissed.

2009-10-01T12:49:00.003-05:00

Ok, after a very long vacation I think it's time for the return of the Evilblog. I'll be honest, I really thought the world could do without some Evil for a while. I saw a world where Barack Obama was President and Al Franken was a Senator and I thought to myself, "Self, why not take a little break? Things are looking good. Maybe you should concentrate on other things. You really need to pull your shit together. You're damn near 32 years old. It's time to straighten up and act like adult." Well, the Democrats clearly don't know what the hell they're doing and I don't know how to act like an adult, so I'm coming back to what I do best... bitching and moaning!!!

First, Senate Dems, WHAT THE FUCK? How hard is it? You have sixty votes. You've got an idea that has over sixty percent support from the public. What else do you want? Oh, you want to nice town hall meeting without Republican jackasses being jackasses? Who cares? We have sixty votes. Fuck 'em. Not only that. There are two Republican Senators from Maine. Beat the hell out of those two. Their people want it. That's sixty two.

Remember earlier in the decade when Republicans kicked your ass on any and every issue? They never had sixty votes. What they had was balls. They had a will to actually do what they say they're going to do. It's payback time. The time is now to push through real health care reform. You may not have another opportunity like this in our lifetime. It's easy, just do it.

Now, I get it. Some Democrats come from red states. I understand. You know what? I don't care. I just need you to vote for cloture. That's it. You can vote how you need to on the bill, but you are a damn Democrat and you vote for cloture on this bill. That's it. If you don't, well I would expect a primary. Oh, and I wouldn't expect any money from the DSCC or the DNC. It's called hardball. It's time to play it.

Oh, and why the hell are Republicans involved in negotiations? Sure, if they want to vote for it, great. But, to be honest, they have no interest in negotiating. They want to to delay. That's it. They have no power. All they can do is talk. Why bother letting them in the room? It's your show. F 'em.

Last point on this one, let them filibuster. Let them talk for weeks on end if they want. Put it on tv. People want health care reform. Let Republicans delay all they want. Point out to people that once they get done talking we'll have reform. How long do you think these guys can go? I don't know, but the potential for gambling and drinking games intrigues me. Let's do it.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest, I want to say that it feels good to be back. Lots of crap has happened while I've been gone and I look forward to catching up, but for now I am happy telling Senate Dems to grow a damn pair.

long time no see...

2009-07-25T20:30:00.001-05:00

Look, I am not actively blogging. You guys are grown ass people and I am trying to become one. Anyway, to be clear, this blog supports any and all efforts at health care reform that move us toward a system that is not based on supporting insurance companies over people.

Anyway, read this: http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2009/jul/25/editorials-scare-tactics-on-health-care/

That is all.

On the eve of the most important day of the year.

2009-06-24T12:26:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the most important day of the year for any Grizz fan. That's right, folks, it's draft night. Now, it appears our Grizz are gonna.... Well, that's the thing. I have no idea what the Grizz are gonna do. Chris Wallace is on record as saying it's fifty-fifty on whether the Grizz actually use the pick. That being said, I want to tell you Evil's four point plan for draft success for the Grizz.

Step 1: Draft Ricky Rubio!!! I don't care if he doesn't want to come here. I don't care if you don't like him. I don't care if you still think Mike Conley is going to be an all star. I don't care about any of that. He is the number two prospect in the draft. You got lucky and have the number two pick. Pick Ricky Rubio.

Step 2: Make sure your phone works and is charged.

Step 3: Answer your phone and listen to offers.

Step 4: Trade Rubio for the best package you get offered.

That's it. There are rumors that Minnessota is offering Kevin Love and others. There are rumors that Sacramento is offering the four and Jason Thompson. I don't really know what all the offers are. I do know that the value of the two pick is in Ricky Rubio. I know that if the Grizz actually pick him they will get a lot of offers. Listen to those and get the most talent you can get.

That's it. Chris Wallace, make it happen.

Now boarding...

2009-06-12T06:58:00.000-05:00

Just got on the plane headed towards a final destination of NYC to hang out with Johnny Five, ClapJackass, Dave and cnyexpat. Should be quite the weekend. Johnny Five just got engaged to Jean Shorts and they are moving to Dubai. This is also the first time in years we've all hung together.

Also, I just got diagnosed with strep throat yesterday. That's a whole nother story deserves it's own post. I imagine that'll happen next week. Until then know that I have a sore ass from the shots they gave me and debauchery is on the way. All portable devices put away and Newt is a jerkass. You know why.

It's time for RC to go.

2009-05-28T12:26:00.003-05:00

For those of you who don't know, the NCAA has accused the University of Memphis of playing an ineligible player a couple years ago. That player was one Derrick Rose. Yadda yadda yadda. They may vacate the Tiger's Final Four appearance and the records for that year. Who cares?

I sure don't, but here's the other angle. The University of Memphis got this letter from the NCAA in January. In April, John Calipari left Memphis for Kentucky. How the hell does the athletic director at Memphis not leak this story in April when Cal is thinking about leaving for a school that has had troubles with the NCAA in the past and had several influential donors that were scared to hire Cal for that very reason? How does that happen? How do you not take advantage of that? I have no idea and I am pretty sure there is no excuse.

Maybe that is why the Tigers can't get in a better conference. Maybe that's why they had to settle on Pastner as coach. RC can't play hardball. You gotta use every arrow you got to get Memphis to where you want to be. Where Louisville and Cincinnati are. You don't get there by holding back. Apparently, R.C. Johnson doesn't want to win. As Athletic Director, that's his job. I, for one, thinks the University of Memphis deserves better.

Quick Jerkass and then the Biznazz.

2009-05-22T14:33:00.004-05:00

Look, I'm going to make this short and sweet. I was going to name Dick Cheney the Jerkass of the Week for the 4,342 time. He was quite a jerkass yesterday. Hell, anytime he bothers showing his face in public it's jerkass. Just go away, Dick. Seriously, we'd all like to forget that you ran the country for eight years. Adults have taken over. Leave.

I was going to name him Jerkass of the Week, I really was; but then I got to read the paper and the ESPN and the DraftExpress and etc. etc. I'm going to make this as clear as possible. Michael Heisley is a jerkass for even letting anyone think he'll draft Thabeet at the 2. Do we want to trade down for Thabeet? We'll listen. But, if we're at the two, we're taking Ricky Rubio. That's it. End of story. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. If you want Ricky, you make us an offer. Clippers, if you want him you either have to pick him or deal with us. That's it. That's the deal. Anything else is Elgin Bayloresque.

And here's the thing, I'm scared to death that it might be true. Chad Ford says our basketball folks love Rubio, but Heisley loves Thabeet. Well, we all know who wins in that debate. I just don't get it. Has he watched the guy play? He's a stiff. And even if he wasn't... no screw it. He is. I hear the Mutombo comparisons. I do. I wouldn't take Mutombo over Steve Nash, would you? It's just nuts. Not in today's NBA. Maybe in the mid 90's. Oh, and let's not forget, we've already got a center that's better than Thabeet. Marc Gasol makes Thabeet look like a small child boy. Anyone who has watched any basketball knows that.

So, what I'm saying is that Michael Heisley thinks he knows enough about basketball to overrule the people he pays to know about basketball. That is jerkass and the thought of us picking Thabeet at 2 makes me vomit a little in my mouth. Thanks, Mr. Heisley. For all your efforts I award you the Jerkass of the Week over Dick Cheney. Do you understand what an accomplishment that is? I did it just for the thought of you doing something that stupid. God forbid, you actually do it.

Moving on... the Luster is playing in Nashville tonight. Get the there. Next Friday, we'll have our triumphant return with Bryan Hartley and Ricky Stein at Murphy's. That's a lot of rock. Be there, too. It should be your first opportunity to pick up you Lackluster t shirt to make all the hipsters jealous with. How can you miss that?

Have a great weekend folks! Go Cards! Get crunk!!!

Rumors and thoughts.

2009-05-21T10:47:00.002-05:00

It's going to be an exciting month to be a Grizz/NBA fan. Here's a few things that caught my eye:

Apparently, Ricky Rubio doesn't want to play in Memphis or, more accurately, Ricky's agent doesn't want him to play in Memphis. Good for them. Now just go out and convince the Clippers to pick Rubio at 1 and everyone will be happy. The article I sight says the Grizz would have to give up Gay to move up that one spot. Screw that. I'd give up the 27 and the 2. I'd give up some other things. I might give up Gay depending what they'd give back, but it better not be garbage. If they want Rubio and he wants to be there, pick him. If they want to trade, make a real offer. Other than that we'll talk to some folks, but people need to understand that we own the number 2 pick and plan on using it on Ricky Rubio or Blake Griffin until something better comes along.

The Commercial Appeal is reporting that the Grizz are seeing a higher percentage of renewels over last year and new sales have doubled over last year. I put this up because I was asked by someone last night why anyone would buy Grizz tix. What ticked me off is that it was someone who has gone with me to lots of games and always had a great time. In short, people should buy Grizz tix because you get to see the best athletes on earth compete 41 times a year and it's a real good time. I'd say it's fantastic.

So, it seems the Cavs are beatable even if Bron Bron drops 49. That was a hell of a game. Cavs still win the series though.

It also seems as though this Lakers-Nugs series is going to be a real good one. I still say the NBA figures out a way for the Lakers to win in seven, but it'll be fun to watch.

Ok, back to work.

CANNONBALL!!!!!!!!

2009-05-20T14:45:00.001-05:00

BBQ Fest 2009 has come and gone, and I for one am a little sad. My body is super excited, but my soul already misses it. Well, I guess the only way to set my soul to rest is to relive it for you guys. Here goes nothing.

BBQ Fest '09 started for me around 5 on Wednesday afternoon. That is when I began my transformation into BBQ Fest Evil. Now, I know you guys think that regular Evil is usually enough. Well, you are wrong. You gotta bring your A game to BBQ fest. You can't just bring your average "I'm getting drunk all day Saturday" game. No, you gotta bring a little something extra. That's why this year I did something I've never done before. Something I never really thought of. Around five on Wednesday, I added two inches of freedom to my upper lip. That's right folks, I went with the mustache this year!!! Things only went down hill from there...

Before I could start the official BBQ fest activities, the Urban Achievers had a little business to take care of on the kickball field. I don't really want to talk about it. I'd like to blame Sex Panther for not being there, but I think the three mustaches on the field at the same time may have been too much freedom for the Achievers to handle. That's a lot of stache. Our baserunning was a little... well... loose. The Achievers fell to 2-1 on the year.

Not being dissuaded, a bunch of us went to the Bayou for bevs. This is when the trouble starts. For some reason I decide I need to start in on the Maker's. Good choice. After three of those, not only have I gotten over the loss, I have decided Evilbro and myself need to go to Bardog. You know just for "one" drink.

So, we sit down at Bardog and order a round of Guinness and Jameson. Fun times begin. I know that my favorite bartender told me I looked like a child molester. I asked her if she wanted to take a ride in my van. I don't know how it got so late. I know that we did you more shots. Then I know it was last call and we were hungry.

We decided to hit Denny's. Nothing too exciting. Grand Slams all around. Yadda yadda. Oh, and the dude next to us is puking. That's not that weird. Downtown Denny's. 4 am. That kind of thing happens. What's funny is the guy first threw up in his glass. Then they, the staff at Denny's, gave him a bag to puke in. I thought that was nice. I'd kick that guy out. At the least, I'd make him go to the bathroom. Not at Denny's, they gave him a bag and let him loose his dinner right next to me. Awesome. Oh, and then he tried to give them his glass back.

So, Thursday started way too early. I had to do some work. I got it done and we were down on the river before three. Folks who have been to the fest or read my wrap ups in the past know that little moment when you first see the fest from the top of the bluff. It's amazing. You have little flashbacks of years past. You have visions of possibilities for the current year. At that moment in time, anything is possible. Someone could have sex in the U haul. Someone could break their collar bone. Someone could break their collar bone after having sex in the UHaul. No one knows.

We got down there and started having some bevs. This is like the pregrame stretching for the Super Bowl that is to come. Everyone is getting their minds right... and by right I mean very wrong.

The ice luge gets there around six. For those of you who attended or read last year's post, you guys know that I love to promote the luge. Last year I spent hours on the bullhorn getting folks on that mother. Well, this year we didn't have a bullhorn for some reason. (It might have something to do with how many hours I spent on it last year.) So, I had to turn into an old school carnival barker. Fun times ensue.

Around eight the entertainment for the evening begins. For this night we've got Raiford spinning records. That's right. Raiford brought everything down and we got down. I danced a lot. It got ugly. It's kind of a blur. At some point I went into the UHaul and realized that one of our bartenders was passed out in there. She grabbed me and I saw her junk. I thought I was going to have to close the UHaul door. Yadda yadda. Thursday was a blast.

Friday again began too early, but I only had to do a little work. Then I got down to the fest around 1:30. Again there was a little stretching which turned into a game of drinking baseball. Somehow a team consisting of myself, Big Woo, the Red Rocket and the MVP beat Winston, Joe Kickass, Sex Panther and Joey Bravo. That one will go down in history as one of the greatest comebacks and upsets of all time.

Moving on... For me the Friday highlights were the fact that Ralph Stanley was playing and the fact that Fallon was getting in town. I loves me some bluegrass and I love showing people the ways of the BBQ fest. Friday I get to do both.

When Evilbro and Fallon hit the tent I am in the middle of said baseball game. Confusion is on both their faces. What is this game? It looks like a combination of beer pong and flip cup? That's just awesome. I know. It is.

After that we chat it up and have some beers, when all the sudden the luge of the day arrives. STEP RIGHT UP!!! STEP RIGHT UP!!! (More on this later.)

We head down to see Dr. Ralph. It was nice to see a living legend. Clearly, Ralph's way past his prime. He can't pick anymore. His voice is still haunting. Sunset on the river was nice.

We get back to the tent and it's bumping. It's great. It's time to party. Hit me with some whoop juice. Hit me again. Give me that, I'll hit myself. That's pretty much my Friday night. I hit that stuff like there was no tomorrow. We went to Earnestine's. Got a burger. I swung for the fences and struck out. Yada yada.

Saturday, as always, started early. Evilbro and I walked in around 9:30, I plugged in the ipod cranked it up to 11 and heard, "Dudda duda dudda dudda. Dant. Dant dant dant. Dant dant dant. Dant dant daaaaan... Rising up!" I'm in the tunnel baby!!!! I got my footlong pronto pup and got to work.

Say what you want about the Meat Makers, but we know how to clean a tent. I have no idea how we make that place look presentable on Saturday's, but I have to say this year we were on point. The place looked awesome. We were ready for the judges.

The judges came in and everything was going great. They all said our ribs were the best thing that had ever hit their lips. We're pumped. We're holding back ribs. Then it happens. A guy we know told us he heard from a little birdie that our blind sample did not do well. Our ribs were fatty. Fatty? Fatty!?!?! Someone suggested we send the guy back to the judges tent with a rib stuck up his ass just to send a message. We considered it.

So, that was it. Time to party. Our baseball team completed another major upset complete with a walk off homer by the MVP. Times were good. Some held out hope of a top ten finish although I never did. We loaded up the wagon with a keg and a bottle of Makers. Off to the award presentation.

This is where things get out of hand. I don't know why, but I decided we were not allowed to leave the award presentation without finishing off this bottle via hobo swig. Now, as the one who issued the challenge I had two jobs. One, promote this idea. Two, do most of the work. I have no idea how I drank that much whiskey. Anyone who knows me knows I vomit at the drop of a hat. There were several times I had bourbon burps and I thought this party was about to get real ugly. Everything stayed down. We didn't get the top ten. WE FINISHED THAT DAMN BOTTLE!!!!

The rest of the night was normal Saturday Night at BBQ Fest. Not many folks there, but the ones who are there are going nuts. Good times are had. We head out to Beale to show Fallon at least a little of the rest of Memphis. (seriously though, come back and I'll give you the grand tour.) I swing a couple times and realize a couple things. The only way I'm going to connect is if some woman sees my mustache and decided that they've got to have it. Why? Because I am shouting as loud as I can but it comes out as a weak whisper. I'm spent.

Sunday, as we know, is clean up day. I get down there and for some reason there is a large table laying in our tent. I ask where it came from. Winston informs me we won it in flip cup last night. What? That's right our neighbors challenged us to flip cup. Damn fools!!! I don't know much, but I know a drunk Sex Panther can take all comers in the cup. He's a machine. Now we've got a table to prove it.

We clean up and I hit the road. Why? Oh, because friend of the blog, Lillie, decides to get married the weekend of BBQ Fest. I will always hold this against her. I just can't get over it. Who does this? Well, I guess people from Nashville. It's completely insane. This is why we hate you. I will now get married the weekend of Steeplechase you little shits. I'll do it. I don't care. All bets are off!!!!

Anyway, I drive up there after clean up. I swear to God that's the closest I've come to killing myself. I was a hazard to everyone on the road. I'm sorry to the great people of Tennessee. After what seems like two days, I get to the wedding and there are a few problems. One is I don't know anyone there. I know Lillie (obviously busy), Lillie's mom (again, busy) and the beverage consultant (who is in the wedding). That's fine. I'll make it through the wedding and I'll talk to these guys then I'll go pass out.

The wedding is beautiful. It's outside at the Belle Meade plantation. Very nice. It was in the upper sixties and breezy. Everything goes without a hitch and I head to the bar. I get over there and realize one problem. There is a sit down dinner. Ummmm, I'm not in for that. Look at me. I've been drinking for five days straight. I need a bed, not a sit down dinner with folks I don't know. I need a drink. I get one. Then another. Then another. Then I look at my watch. It's been fifteen minutes and still no sign of anyone I know. I need to leave or I'm going to be hard to deal with. As the dude in Days of Thunder says, "I mean real awnry."

I decide to leave and meet Evilsis. It seems like a good idea. It was a good idea. Then Lillie calls and gives me shit. Who thought she'd even notice? I didn't. I'm sorry. I'm a terrible person, but at least I didn't bring BBQ Fest drunk to your special day. You'll thank me next year when you celebrate your anniversary at BBQ Fest.

Monday I drove home.

I have to say that, although we finished 56th in ribs, this was my favorite year at the Fest ever. I am looking forward to next year already. Hell, I'm ready to start having meetings today. Let's start planning now to try and top that. Who's with me?

We're number 2!!!!!!!

2009-05-20T12:27:00.002-05:00

So, the Grizz landed the number two pick in the draft. The general consensus is that pick will be one Ricky Rubio out of Spain, but let's talk about what else it means.

If the Grizz do use the pick on Rubio then say adios to Mike Conley. I still think the guy can be a quality player, but it just doesn't seem like it's going to work here. I may be wrong. I hope I am. I do like size in a point guard and Rubio has got that.

The Grizz could trade down. This is sometimes a little difficult in the NBA. The good thing is that Rubio is clearly the second rated player in the draft and someone may be willing to give up something to get up there to get him. If we can pick up a good four and a top ten pick for it, then you probably gotta do that.

This also opens the Amare discussions again. Would the Suns do Conley and Gay for Amare? Maybe? I don't know, but I think we've got a lot of flexibility in those negotiations now.

The fact is, there are a lot of options now because of how lucky we got last night and as a Grizz fan your summer just got a lot more interesting.

Oh, and yes, I am working on the BBQ fest post. It's long and takes a while. Look for it tomorrow hopefully.

2009-05-13T11:41:00.001-05:00

Testing a new idea. Mobile blogging!! Just in time for BBQ Fest. Thoughts?

Looking forward.

2009-04-21T11:54:00.003-05:00

So, I've stayed away from the politics, and blogging in general, of late. There's a lot of reasons for that. First, I don't sit in front of a computer all day like I used to. Second, I want to give the Obama folks time to settle into a groove. Third, I generally support this stuff, so I figure why bother.

That stopped this week. You guys know I'm against torture. I thought Obama was against torture. I know he says he is. But, the political folks in the White House have said that they want to look forward and not prosecute folks for torture. They say they want to concentrate on looking forward.

That's fine and dandy. I'd love to look forward. In moving forward, I'd like to know that anyone who tortures in the name of the United States of America will be punished to the full extent of the law. I somewhat understand the argument of not punishing the CIA officers who were told it was ok. Somewhat. I do not understand not investigating and prosecuting any wrongdoing on the part of any policymakers and any intelligence officers who exceeded the crappy legal cover they were given.

Look, apparently we waterboarded these guys hundreds of times. That's torture and someone should be punished. Period.

And, now that I'm researching this, President Obama says he's open to prosecutions....Nevermind.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-04-14T16:04:00.000-05:00

Back by popular demand, (if you call two people “popular demand”) is Drogba’s Tuesday Thoughts. Here we go!

Drogba hopes that everyone had a wonderful Easter. Family, friends, food, candy, eggs and a bunny, what more can one ask?
(Lord knows you probably had a better Easter then Kenny Perry, but that’s another story).

The Memphis Tigers have a basketball coach….WOW!
Drogba would like to say that he likes Coach Pastner and wishes him the best.

It turns out being a Pirate may not be that good of a gig, unless you don’t care about keeping your head.

Tomorrow is Tax Day, so if you owe the Government some money, you may want to cut them a check.

The Grizz have one game left, (that’s pretty much all Drogba can say about that).

Crawfish season is in full effect. Drogba hopes those that were out in Midtown over the weekend had a good time. This weekend is the Crawfish festival downtown, should be fun. Drogba just wants to remind people that the best crawfish in town will be found at the 6th Annual JTC Crawfish and Cold Beer party being held on May 9th, (more to come later).

Stuck In Drogba’s Craw

Drogba would like to share what’s stuck in his craw. It has been brought to his attention that apparently he’s loud. What do you mean loud? That’s what Drogba said, and the answer he gets back is, “you are just loud, in everything”. It turns out that this is correct. Drogba is quite loud. If Drogba’s at a rock show, he’s loud. If Drogba is at a soccer game, he’s loud, (Carlos Edwards from Trinidad & Tobago wants no more of Drogba). If Drogba is sitting at the bar at Boscos, he’s loud. If Drogba is hanging out at your house, he’s loud. It turns out Drogba doesn’t have an “inside voice”. In fact, Drogba is pretty damn sure he goes to 11, if not past. The real question is why? The reason Drogba is confused is because he doesn’t hear it. In fact, Drogba thinks this is often times greatly exaggerated. Of course, what’s worse, (for those around Drogba), is that the volume may never change, mainly because Drogba just doesn’t realize how loud he is. Drogba does plan to work on his volume control, but don’t hold your breath.

One Last Thing

“Hooray, Beer!” That’s right, a little Red Stripe. This is one of Drogba’s all time favorite beers. This is a lager style beer out of Jamaica. It can be found in the squat brown bottle with the painted label. Red Stripe is “The Business”. This spring, when you are bouncing around town, hitting up crawfish parties and seeing friends on the patio, order a few Red Stripes. “Hooray, Beer!”

Until next time, have a great week!

I Love Memphis!!!

2009-04-10T12:44:00.004-05:00

So, last night Clay and I got to see one of the coolest shows I've been to in a long time. After the River City Ballers pulled out one of the most miraculous victories in the history of men's recreational basketball leagues, Clay picked me up and we went to the Hi Tone for Greg Cartwright.

For those of you who don't know, Greg Cartwright is pretty much my favorite musician. I told several folks yesterday that the only way I could be more excited is if Keith Richards was going to play the Hi Tone. I was pretty pumped.

Well, Greg did not disappoint. First, he came out with an electric. I'm always kind of partial to that for the solo show. I mean acoustic is nice and all, but I loves the electric. Then he went and opened with my one and only request, "Find Me Now". I was sold.

Now, what made this night really cool was not just Greg. Greg is great and all. I think I've made that clear. No what made last night cool was the little something extra you could only get in Memphis. When I got there I noticed that Jack Yarber was there. No biggie. I actually would expect that. The show started and he moved up front and was standing right in front of me. Again, no biggie. Then after about five or six songs Greg turns and says, "Jack, you want to play a few?"

That's right folks, I pretty much saw an Oblivians/Compulsive Gamblers reunion without having to deal with the huge crowd that will be at the actual Oblivians reunion. I was happy as a clam.

So, they played a bunch of numbers including my favorites "Stop and Think it Over" and "Bad Man". It was great. Then Jack sat down and Greg played some more. Easy enough. Until, Greg pulls Jeremy Scott (Reigning Sound bassist) out of the crowd to play some tunes including the great Beach Boys cover "Waiting for the Day".

After all that, I guess they decided it was enough. I'd have stayed longer, but my liver thinks Greg made the right call.

So, I that gets the kickass of the week right there, and I am no mood to name a jerkass. Have a great weekend folks!!! I got an extra tik to the Cold War Kids and Death Cab at the Orpheum tomorrow for anyone interested. Listen to the Happy Hour from noon to one tomorrow, then get your ass down to Overton Square and get crunk with some crawfish. Oh, and merry Easter. Say hello to your mother for me.

What I'll miss about Cal.

2009-04-02T13:13:00.004-05:00

So, it's been official for a while now, but I couldn't write yesterday because I was on the way to Nashville to watch the U.S. beat Trinidad and Tobago. (Which was awesome, by the way) Cal it gone. Can't blame him for taking the Kentucky job. It has tradition and whatnot. Good for him. I just wanted to take a minute and say what I'll miss about the guy.

As you guys know, I root for the Tigers as long as they aren't on the orange tracks when the orange train is coming through. More so than that, I am a huge fan of Memphis as a city, and Cal did a lot for this town.

The biggest thing he did was he never said can't. Memphis is full of people who say we can't. We're not good enough. Why would anyone want to come here? Blah, blah, blah. Cal always believed Memphis is a great place. He told people everyday. He sold this city better than anyone else in this town. He believed he could build a national power here, and he did. He brought in kids from all over the country to go to school here. He made Memphis the place to be.

He proved to Memphians that yes, it is possible to like this place. It's possible to look around and say, despite all our problems, this is a wonderful city. It's got more soul than anywhere else in the world. The people are nice. The culture is fantastic. The ribs ain't too bad either. Coach Cal believed in Memphis and Memphis needs that more than anything. I'll miss that the most.

Now, keep your stinking hands off Bruce Pearl you jerkasses.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-03-31T16:20:00.001-05:00

No Thoughts Today…………………..

Drogba is too busy LAUGHING at the Cal/Kentucky/Memphis State fiasco! LOVE IT!!!

One Last Thing

Ice Cream Cakes…Hells Yeah!!!

Until next time, have a great week!

I hate to say I told you so...

2009-03-30T11:28:00.006-05:00

So, the big news in Memphis today is that it is looking more and more like Coach Cal is going to Kentucky. For those of you who didn't witness my argument with Winston yesterday, I have to say I hate to say I told you so. When I say I hate to say it, I mean it. I do not want Coach Cal to leave. The Commercial Appeal is all over this. I'll update later.

UPDATE: The University of Memmphis has officially given Kentucky permission to speak with Cal. It looks like a done deal. There are a lot of numbers being thrown around. It sounds like a package between $6-7 million a year for 4-6 years. DAMN!!!!

UPDATE 2: Looking more and more like a done deal. Parish says Mike Anderson is #1 target to replace Cal.

UPDATE 3: That's quick. Memphis gets permission to talk to Anderson.

UPDATE 4: Missouri denies the above report.

UPDATE 5: Cal is trying to get the boosters at Memphis to hire Tony Barbee.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-03-24T17:08:00.000-05:00

Tuesday Thoughts, Here we go!

Drogba wants to start off by apologizing for the Thoughts being posted so late these last few weeks, it’s just that wire rope doesn’t sell itself. Drogba knows you all understand.

So how is your bracket? Oh yes, the first weekend of the tournament is over and who’s still standing? If you are smart like Drogba, you went with pretty much all top seeds and are sitting pretty in your respective pools. One of the things that Drogba loves about the tournament, is how quickly one becomes a fan of a certain school or how quickly one will hate a place they never even knew existed. One minute you love Purdue and feel they are an underrated basketball Mecca and the next you are cursing the founders of Cleveland State, (and wondering when they will become The University of Cleveland). For Drogba, that’s what really makes the tourney fun.

Speaking of basketball tournaments, once again the city of Memphis showed the state where the best basketball is played. In the Tennessee High School State basketball tournament, Memphis had at least one representative in all three divisions. Congrats to Manassas for winning the Class A title. BTW came up one point short in the Class AA final. And once again, in the top class, (AAA), it was an all Memphis final with White Station beating Raleigh-Egypt to win its 5th title.

Last Saturday, Drogba and Tony were all over town killing beers and hanging out with folks. They watched some soccer, (BIG win by Portsmouth) and of course some basketball, (nice win by Memphis) and they finished the night off at The Buc, to check out Lackluster Lite. It was a good time at The Buc and both Tony and Drogba enjoyed the show. However, just as Drogba prefers Budweiser over Bud Light, the same can be said for Lackluster vs. Lackluster Lite. Drogba likes the calories.

Is Drogba the only one who wonders, had McCain won the presidency, would Evilblog still have no post from Evil?

What is with former University of Tennessee football players who end up in the NFL, then drink and drive, only to kill innocent people?

Did anyone see the story about the women who handcuffed herself to her husband in an attempt to reconcile with him? That’s when Drogba thinks it’s time to grab a pocket knife and start whittling.

One Last Thing

If you are out on the town any this week, why don’t you kill a beer, (or 8) for Drogba and make sure to tip your server, the economy is affecting them as well.

Until next time, have a great week!

Bracketology '09

2009-03-18T22:59:00.002-05:00

For those that are interested here is the official Evil breakdown of the brackets.

Starting in the Midwest bracket. Louisville, Sienna, Utah, Wake, West Virginia, Kansas, Southern Cal, and Michigan State advance. Louisvill is too much for Sienna. Wake is too athletic for Utah. West Virginia takes out Kansas. And in a shocker USC takes down Michigan State. Louisville beats Wake in a game that features a lot of lottery picks, it'll be must see tv. West Virginia ends USC's Cinderella story. Louisville to the Final Four.

On to the West... UConn, BYU, Purdue, Washington, Marquette, Missouri, Cal and Memphis. UConn over BYU. Purdue over Washington. Missouri takes out Marquette because there is no Dominic James. Memphis rolls on Cal. UConn over Purdue and Memphis over Missouri in a highly entertaining game. Memphis beats UConn because UConn is depending too much on Price. Anderson will shut him down and Memphis can hand Thabeet... because he's not that good. Memphis to the Final Four... again.

In the East... Pitt, Tennessee (I gotta do it.), FSU, Xavier, my personal pick for Cinderella VCU, 'Nova, Texas, and Duke. Pitt takes down the Vols (gotta live in reality), Xavier takes out the 'Noles, VCU beats 'Nova to advance to the Sweet Sixteen and Duke beats Texas. Pitt pounds Xavier. VCU sneaks past Duke. Sadly, this is where VCU's miracle run ends. Pitt is too much, but Anthony Grant will get paid big bucks by someone, most likely Georgia.

To the South... Carolina, Butler, Western Kentucky, Gonzaga, Arizona State, 'Cuse, Michigan and Oklahoma. Carolina over Butler. Gonzaga over Western Kentucky. Cuse over ASU. OU over Michigan. In Memphis, Carolina beats Gonzaga 120-119 in a game where no one guards anyone. 'Cuse sneaks past Oklahoma. UNC takes out a battered Syracuse team to advance to the Final Four.

In the Final Four... The Memphis-Louisville matchup will be awesome. I pray to God this happens. Not only are they rivals from back in the day, but they are the two best defensive teams in the country. At the end of the day, Louisville just has more pros and you gotta go with them. In the other semi, Pittsburgh make North Carolina realize the Big East doesn't mess around. Psycho T gets the hell beat out of him by Blair. It'll be ugly, but Pitt wins.

In an all Big East final, I think Louisville pulls it out. They have been the best team I've seen all year and Terrence Williams just wins games. I love him. Louisville is crowned the champs... one year before Memphis wins it.

Book it!

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-03-17T16:39:00.000-05:00

Tuesday Thoughts and St. Patrick’s Day! Here we go!

Drogba wants to wish everyone a Happy St. Patrick’s Day! He hopes you have a safe and eventful day or night or both.

St. Patrick’s Day means two things to Drogba….beer and brackets. Oh yeah, it’s tournament time. Drogba is sure that everyone has seen the brackets and has probably already started breaking down matchups and putting the pieces together. Drogba has spent much of the day putting his bracket together and is happy to say that he is finished and expects to lose, three, maybe four games total. Now all Drogba has to do is enter his bracket into the many pools that he is in and sit back while the money rolls in.

Speaking of the Tournament, it looks like next weekend there will be a great lineup of teams playing down at The Forum. And with the way the Grizzlies are playing, God knows that building could use some better basketball in there, especially if BOTH teams are good. Drogba can’t wait.

Can Tennessee not win ONE FREAKING GAME for Drogba? Nice job Bruce, way to ruin a Sunday for Drogba!

Drogba wishes he had more for you, but he has to get going so he can work in a quick nine holes of golf before he heads out into the night to celebrate the great St. Patrick.

One Last Thing

If you are like Drogba and just not a big fan of Guinness, but know that with it being St. Patrick’s Day you have to drink something Irish, try a Harp Lager. Although the one you get here may not actually be brewed in Ireland, you get the point. Harp is a premium lager that is strong, (it is from Ireland), but with a rich, smooth taste. So, while you are out on the town tonight, (or any night for that matter), try yourself a nice pint of Harp Lager. If that doesn’t work, there’s always Jameson’s.

Until next time, have a great week!

I thought everyone knew that Cocks work at gas stations.

2009-03-12T16:34:00.003-05:00

Well, well, well. It seems like my boy Lane Kiffin got himself in some more trouble this week. Apparently, or should I say reportedly, Lane told a recruit that decided he wanted to stay at home and play for the Cocks that he would end up pumping gas the rest of his life just like all the other kids from South Carolina that stayed to play for the Cocks!!!

First, I want to say that Lane Kiffin denies saying that. Second, that is just about the most awesome thing I've ever heard and full heartedly support the statement. I mean everyone knows that. It's just common knowledge. It's almost like folks don't expect Lane to tell a kid considering Florida to think long and hard about the jean short situation before signing with the Gators. What's a guy to do? All he can do is speak the truth.

Before you think I am taking this too far, I want you to look at a picture of one of the most beloved Gamecocks in history...

Does anyone think Lane was out of line now? Hell, I think Taneyhill may have worked at a gas station WHILE he was the starting QB for the Cocks. Look at that plumage. It just screams, "I may fly a confederate flag but that don't mean I don't know how to get down." I've seen some mullets in my day. Hell, I've got family members that rock the mullet. But, that one right there has to be one of the best in the illustrious history of the Southeastern Conference. God bless you, Steve Taneyhill. May you always have business in the front and a party in the back.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-03-10T16:25:00.001-05:00

Tuesday Thoughts, another week down. Here we go!

For those that missed it, Lackluster brought the rock on Friday night. Drogba was there and he did enjoy the rock, however he can’t say the same for the venue. Here’s hoping that Drogba never has to darken the door of Nocturnal again. (Note to Nocturnal: if your place is a shit hole, having creepy bartenders doesn’t help)

How about the weather?! Spring may finally be arriving and Drogba can’t wait. Now Drogba can get back to spraying balls all over the golf course. Squirrels beware!

Break out the Rally Monkey, the Dow surges 379 points…they must have got wind of Drogba’s bar tabs over the weekend.

March Madness is upon us. Drogba can’t wait for Selection Sunday so he can hear all the Memphis fans cry about being a two seed.

Is Drogba the only one who wants to throw up every time he sees the 2010 Tag Renewal stickers on TN licenses plates?

How bout Drogba’s boy Terrico White, SEC Freshman of the Year?! A true Memphis Baller!

One Last Thing

If you find yourself at Boscos anytime soon, try an Uber Munster. Drogba gives it his seal of approval and Winston describes it as, “Flaming Stone turned up to 11”. What more do you need to know?

Until next time, have a great week!

In a future age...

2009-03-04T16:28:00.003-06:00

So, last night I found out my uncle died. No, it wasn't unexpected. He had cancer. It's awful. My cousins, who are some of the nicest people I've ever met, lost their father. My aunt lost her husband. We'll get together and remember him in a couple days and we'll think that we should get together more often. We won't.

That's not the weird part though. Death, sadly, is not rare. We all deal with it from time to time. As we get older, we deal with it more and more. No, the weird part is how I came to find out about my uncle's passing. I found out via facebook.

That's right, last night around 8:30 my phone buzzed. I looked at it and it was an update from a facebook group telling me my uncle was gone. What's weirder still is, apparently, we were some of the first to know. I'm not saying I expected a call immediately. I'm saying others probably did, but we knew within the hour. My sister told my mom about it.

That got me to thinking. Is this the new norm? As I thought about this, I was getting constant updates from a friend of mine on the status of his wife's labor, via his facebook status. The daughter was born about two hours after my uncle died.

So far I haven't commented on either one of these. I just think the whole thing is weird. Is this how we'll live in the very near future? We've got Senator's twittering during the President's speech. I'm finding out matters of life and death via facebook. What's next?

I don't know, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I love the facebook. I love this blog. I'm hip to all this stuff, but at the end of the day there is no substitute for telling someone something in person, and if you can't, picking up the phone and calling. Maybe I'm old school, but I still think that way.

Thankfully when friend of the blog and regular commenter, Lillie, got engaged about a month ago; she called me and let me know... right before she put it up as her facebook status. I feel so privileged!!!

I'd update you guys on other stuff, but I think Drogba covered it.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-03-03T16:59:00.000-06:00

Tuesday Thoughts, almost forgot. Here we go!

Just when Drogba thought the weather would turn, here comes the Freaking Snow. What the hell is that about? And on a Saturday? Oh well, a little snow never stopped anyone, especially u2clay. Thanks to him being prepared for the Blizzard, Drogba was able to enjoy some rock and some bourbon and still make it home without being stopped by the snow, (of course, we all know it takes more then snow to stop Drogba from getting some rock and bourbon).

How bout The Happy Hour?!
Drogba hopes everyone got a chance to check out Winston, Evil and The Mayor of Midtown on their radio show. Drogba thought it was very good and expects them to continue to raise the bar. In case you missed it, it’s Saturday from 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm on KWAM AM 990, (that’s right, 990 IS more then just Vandy basketball).

Lackluster will be bringing the rock this Friday at Nocturnal. Drogba can’t wait to see the band and to make his maiden voyage to Nocturnal. It should be a good time and Drogba hopes to see everyone there.

Speaking of good times, if anyone wants to see Drogba try and drink the Hi Tone out of Maker’s, then be there Saturday night for the WEVL’s Spring Concert.

Drogba was happy to hear that Coach O is still out there, ripping his shirt off!

Who will leave town first, O.J. Mayo or the Memphis Grizzlies?

One Last Thing

Drogba has thought long and hard about this and has finally come to a conclusion. The best beer is……FREE BEER! That’s right, who hasn’t ever had free beer and thought, “Wow, this beer is great”? Drogba isn’t talking about being at a keg party or at your boy’s house and stealing his beer, no, Drogba is talking about when you go somewhere and they surprise you with free beer. How great is that? Sadly, Drogba can’t tell you were to find the free beer but he can tell you this, when you do find it, it will be some of the best beer you have had in days, maybe even weeks.

Until next time, have a great week!

It's the game of the centrury!!!

2009-02-26T14:14:00.002-06:00

Those of you who don't live in Memphis or Birmingham may not have heard, but the game of the century is happening tonight in Birmingham. The fifth ranked University of Memphis Tigers will be coming in to face off the ... what are they ranked? Wait, they aren't ranked? They are barely even on the bubble? Well, it's a really really huge game and apparently some folks think UAB may win. I don't think they will, but they may. Anything can happen. (See 2006 World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals.)

The bigger point here is that for the last few days I've heard a lot of bitching and moaning from Tiger homers that they should be ranked higher than fifth and that the "don't get any respect" from the national media. I have a few questions about this...

First, who in the top four do you think you are better than? North Carolina? Pittsburgh? Connecticut? Oklahoma? I don't think there is much of an argument there, but I'd love to hear it.

Second, do you really think you are clearly better than Louisville, Marquette, Duke, Missouri, Villanova and Wake Forest? Those teams have all lost four or five games, but they all also actually have to play teams that are good. They don't have to build up a road game against an unranked opponent, they play actual good teams on the road for half of their conference schedule.

Third, and this one is important, who cares? You are ranked fifth, and I think that is about as high as you are gonna go unless Oklahoma falls apart. That's plenty good. You've got a two seed locked up if you run the table, which you should considering you won't play anyone that is worth a crap the rest of the year. A two seed should easily coast into the Sweet Sixteen. Well, I say should because apparently UAB is the game of the century and whoever the Tigers would play in the second round would be better than UAB.

And that is the bigger point here. I have friends who bitch about the national media not giving UT any respect when they are good at football. I have the same response, who cares? I'm pretty sure the national media doesn't block or tackle anyone. If the Vols play good football the rest will take care of itself. If the Tigers go out there and win basketball games the rest will take care of itself. If they don't, then it won't be the media's fault... it'll be theirs.

So, enjoy the game tonight. It should be rockin down in B'ham and I am hoping the UAB student section has learned how to spell Memphis (notice the h!). But, please spare me the big speeches about how a road victory over unranked opponent means you should be ranked ahead of North Carolina. Be happy with where this team is and look forward to the tourney, when the Tigers will hopefully earn some respect by beating good teams.*

*Yes, I know the Tigers beat UT. I think it is pretty well established at this point that UT sucks. They have no guards. It's pretty bad and I doubt we make the tournament without a huge turnaround the next couple of weeks.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-02-24T17:46:00.000-06:00

Tuesday Thoughts, here we go!

The economy continues to take a beating, (so does Drogba’s bank account).

Tiger Woods returns to the golf world this week, (so would Drogba if the weather would permit).

Well, the Oscars were held on Sunday. Congrats to all the winners. Drogba pretty much nailed all the picks, only missing a hand full, (Drogba needs to take his Oscar picks to Vegas next year). Drogba still doesn’t think that Slumdog Millionaire is the Best Picture, but it was a weak year. After watching the Oscars at home again, Drogba has decided that next year, he is going to attend. That’s right, Drogba on the Red Carpet. Look out Seacrest!

It looks like Marko Jaric finally married Adriana Lima, (he knew it was a matter of time till Lima meet Drogba, and then it would be all over for him)

There was another man shot over a traffic accident, all the more reason why Drogba needs a driver.

The UEFA Champions League kicked off the round of sixteen today. Drogba can’t wait to watch his beloved Juventus continue their return to glory and greatest with a beat down of Chelsea tomorrow.

Over the weekend, Drogba had what alcoholics call a moment of clarity. So he’s got that going for him.

One Last Thing

In honor of Juventus’ return to glory in the Champions League, get out there and drink some Grappa. Hells Yeah! For those that don’t know, Grappa is an Italian alcohol which is made by distilling pomace, the leftovers of winemaking. Grappa is often served as an after-dinner drink to help aid in the digestion of a heavy meal. With an alcohol content varying between 40% to 80% alcohol by volume, who the hell needs a meal. This is not something that one can find easily, but when you do, it is on.

Until next time, have a great week!

Easy pick.

2009-02-20T15:49:00.004-06:00

Picking the Jerkass of the Week this week was about as easy as it gets. I don't even want to talk about because I don't think it deserves discussion. Let's just say Sean Delonas is a jerkass because he created this:

That's jerkass.

Heading to the tennis tourney tonight with the Kickasses and the Dangerbox. It should be good time. Have a great weekend. Get crunk!

I've stayed out of political talk for a while...

2009-02-18T16:34:00.002-06:00

but I just need to say that Michele Bachmann is an idiot. I'm sorry. Someones got to say it. I don't know who these folks are who vote this woman into office, but you deserve better.

This goes for all the folks saying other things that are in the stimulus bill that aren't. I don't mind you guys being against it, just use actual facts and don't just trust Rush Limbaugh.

Thank you.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-02-17T16:45:00.000-06:00

Drogba is tight for time, so he’s going to try and point out the highlights. Here we go!

So, Lackluster played a gig on Friday and yes, they brought the rock. A fun time was had by all, especially Drogba, who may have had a hole in his glass based on the amount of times he had to have his drink refilled, (Drogba’s never seen a bottle of Maker’s that he didn’t try and finish). After the show, Drogba and u2clay went over to Boscos to chat with Winston and slam some beers. That being said, Drogba is pretty sure that someone must have put something in his drink. He’s not sure who or what or where this may have happened, but based on how the night ended, Drogba can only come to the conclusion that something was put into his drink. Luckily Drogba is a specimen and his body was able to detect the evil and eject it from his body, (although it would have been nice if that would have happened once Drogba got out of u2clay’s car).

Where did the cold weather come from? This is starting to piss Drogba off and affect his golf game.

The President signs $787 Billion program into law, (Drogba just wanted to say $787 Billion).

Is Drogba the only one who thinks The Oscars will be boring?
Is Drogba the only one who thinks it’s a WEAK year for Best Picture?
Is Drogba the only one NOT IMPRESSED with Slumdog Millionaire?

The All Star break has come and gone in the NBA and this is usually when Drogba’s Spurs kick it into another gear. They will do that, but much like Drogba, they are getting old and the best they can hope for is a berth in the Western Conference Finals, but that’s fine with Drogba, because anything can happen then.

One Last Thing

Nothing says “American Beer” like Budweiser! Nothing screams “made in America” like “The King of Beers”. There’s nothing better to drink while watching the US Men’s National team beat the HELL out of the Mexicans like Budweiser!

Until next time, have a great week!

That's the second pick in the draft?

2009-02-17T11:18:00.002-06:00

So, I watched Pittsburgh and Connecticut last night. Let me say one thing, if Hasheem Thabeet is the second best player coming out of college this year then I am entering my name in the NBA draft. Is he tall? Yes. Does he suck? Yes. He got punked out by a 6'7" guy last night. It was ugly. I am scared to know what he'd do if he ran into a guy like Marc Gasol, much less someone like Amare Stoudemire. Note to Chris Wallace. If we have the second pick in the draft remember these names: Hill, Monroe, Clark, Lawai and Aminu. No to Thabeet.

Spekaing of Amare... as of right now it looks like he's not going anywhere. That sucks. I would make the freaking deal that was on the table from the Suns if we could get Amare to sign. The Grizz need something. Amare is something.

Grizz back in action tonight!!!

Baseball is warming up in Arizona and Florida. God, I miss it. Evil's Cardinals are going on the cheap this year, and I can't say it's a bad idea. We've got some guys coming up and unless we can get Manny on a two year deal and trade some outfielders I don't want anyone else (now that Bobby Abreu just signed for 1 year/ $5 mil. Mark my words, that's a great signing.) Let's see what the kids can do. Colby Rasmus needs to show it this year. Looks like Skip Schumaker is going to get some run at second base. If that works out, then color me impressed. As of right now, we'll just got with a "we'll see", which could quickly move to "they're still shitty."

In a related note, the Cardinals still have Albert Pujols.

That's Amare.

2009-02-12T12:05:00.002-06:00

So, for those of you haven't heard, Amare Stoudamire is available. It seems the Suns suck (How's that Shaq trade looking now? Why am I not an NBA GM?), and they are looking to shed salary. This wouldn't be so difficult except they already traded Shawn Marion for Shaq, who they can't trade because he's going to be making $20 million next year. Oh, and he's old.

Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying, Evil, when did this become a Suns blog? The Grizz are too cheap to go get Amare. Let it go. Well, not so fast my friend. It seems as though the Memphis Grizzlies have one of the biggest things the Suns want... cap space. See, the NBA has a thing called the luxury tax and the Phoenix Suns are above it. The Grizzlies are one of the few teams that are below the salary cap and can take back more salary than they give in a trade. Add it all up and the Grizzlies are players for Amare.

Don't get too excited though. Ron Tillery is reporting that the Suns want Rudy Gay, Hakim Warick and Mike Conley for Amare. I am a little turned off by that. Although, I might do it. I like the idea of Mike Conley playing with Amare. What if we give them Lowry instead? Also, if you really want to dump some salary, what about Barbosa? Evil loves some Barbosa. The dude is fast as hell and can shoot. I think he'd be a great sixth man for the Grizz or a great pairing with OJ playing point. Greg Buckner is only guarenteed for $1 million next year. More salary cap relief. We got all kinds of crap we can sell you. Just give us Amare!!!! We'll give you Hak, we'll give you Rudy OR Conley, we'll give you a protected lottery pick, we'll give you the Lakers pick. Let's make a deal!!!

Ok, now that that is out of the way, let me ask you a question. How crappy is it to be a Suns fan? I know that it sucks to be a Grizz fan, but they've never really teased me. The Suns were a fans dream there for a couple of years. Then they killed it. They killed it in an awful awful way. They sold first round draft picks that could have given them Rondo, Nate Robinson, and they gave the Thunder two picks to take Kurt Thomas. Come to think of it, shouldn't the Suns be giving us a couple first rounders to take Amare off their hands? Seriously, I don't know how you screw up the 7 seconds or less Suns, but they did it and they did it very quick. If I lived in Phoenix I'd be pissed. Then I'd go play golf.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-02-10T12:30:00.001-06:00

Drogba is back to lift spirits and pass on knowledge. That’s right kids, it’s Drogba’s Tuesday Thoughts. Here we go!

Your Memphis Grizzlies have won 4 out of their last 5 games. Look out!!! Of course, Drogba doesn’t suggest you rush out to buy playoff tickets just yet but you have to like how they have been playing of late. There’s no need to talk about how great Drogba’s boy O.J. is playing, however, if O.J. doesn’t win Rookie of the Year, Drogba will eat a garage mechanic’s shirt!

The economy continues to suck, but it looks like the Senate just passed the Economic Stimulus Plan so who knows, maybe Drogba will be buying everyone drinks soon.

Linvoy continues to bring people together and unite them. Drogba thinks he should run for office but apparently Linvoy has some skeletons in his closet.

A-Rod was taking Steroids, what a news flash. Drogba is just about over baseball. The sport has so many things already going against it and yet they can’t seem to get control of steroids. Oh well, if you’re not cheating you’re not trying and it’s only cheating if you get caught.

Apparently parking to close to someone in Cordova is grounds for being shot! What a sad and horrible story.

Over the weekend, Drogba found himself at a house party celebrating someone’s birthday, (Drogba didn’t know him but he did wish him a Happy Birthday). Drogba had a good time, although Tony was in his ear all night driving him crazy. Two things did stick out. There should be a “Flip Cup” league in Memphis and Drogba is a fan of women with curves!

There is a HUGE game tomorrow night. Oh yes, the United States will be playing Mexico in soccer to kickoff the final round of World Cup qualifying. You may not be a soccer fan but this game means A LOT. Mexico is the arch rival and the US has NEVER lost to them on home soil. The game has been a sellout for a long time and the crowd will probably be evenly split. This is a must watch, even if you just have it on as background. The game will be on ESPN2 at 6:00.

One Last Thing

Drogba thinks white wine is overrated, don’t waste your time!

Until next time, have a great week!

Belated Jerkass

2009-02-09T11:43:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry for not getting this up on Friday. I am a busy man. I gots things to do. Anyway, I didn't want to let this opportunity slip by. I thought we were done with Dick Cheney for the rest of time, but he decided to rear his (very) ugly head last week. He told us that unless Bush policies were followed we'd all die.

Dick, I don't mean to be a dick, but shut the f up. It's over. I'm glad that you are still in good health, but come on man. You are no longer Vice President. You left office with a somewhere around a 0% approval rating. Now you want to be the guy that comes out and says we're in danger because we're not going to torture people and keep them locked up for eternity without a trial? You want to be that guy? Really?

You are a Jerkass.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-02-03T13:29:00.000-06:00

Tuesday Thoughts, the highlight of all Tuesdays. Here we go!

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers on winning their Sixth Super Bowl.

Drogba hopes that everyone had an eventful Super Bowl Sunday. If you made it to some parties, Drogba hopes you had good food and fellowship. Drogba had a grand time. He was kicking it with Tony, Lebowski, Francis and E. Italian food was on the menu and it was THE BUSINESS. Good Stuff E!

So we have had the Super Bowl but that’s not the end of football season. That’s right, if you are like Drogba and you have the NFL Network, it is all just starting over. We are just two weeks ago from the NFL Scouting Combine. There’s not much better then drinking a cold beer with Linvoy and watching Linebackers run the 40 yard dash. Lives are made at the Combine. Drogba can’t wait.

So if you read the Commercial Appeal this morning, you are probably having the same thought that Drogba is….how can you have an article about Wisdom Teeth and not get a quote from Dr. Clay T. Nelson, DDS?

O.J. Mayo is a “Killer”

Kobe Bryant is “The Truth”

Don’t sleep on Drogba’s boy Terrico White

Turns out Tony is good friends with Michael Phelps. Guess Drogba lost that bet.

Drogba is very excited to hear about the radio gig that Evil and acquired. Good Stuff!

IT’S FREAKING COLD OUTSIDE!!!

One Last Thing

This is where Drogba usually hits you with something to drink when you are out on the town. The thing is that Drogba hasn’t been hitting the town that much this month, (numerous reasons). The problem with that is, when Drogba isn’t out and about, he’s not drinking new things. Don’t you guys worry; Drogba will be back at it very soon and already has a list for the spring. In the meantime, feel free to slam any of the other drinks that Drogba offered you last year. One can never go wrong with a little Patron Silver or Maker’s.

Until next time, have a great week!

I told you big things were coming.

2009-02-02T11:17:00.003-06:00

I think it's time to make it official. Evil is about to move onto another format, which luckily for you guys means a whole lot more Evil. Some of you folks may have heard, but let's make it official... Evil is hitting the AM radio. That's right "The Happy Hour" is going to be hitting 990 AM in a few weeks. It's going to be an hour of Winston, Frayser Boy and myself talking about stuff to do in Memphis. My topic is mainly music and smart ass comments. I think I've got that under control.

What does this mean to you, the Evilblog reader? Well, first it means you'll get an hour of Winston, Frayser Boy and myself chatting together with commercial interruptions. Now, for those of you who have seen this in person, you know that an hour is often not enough. That's why the radio show is just a jumping off point. We are also planning to do a podcast at least once a week. It also means more room for involvement from you. We're looking for correspondents, so if you're interested let me know... oh, and if anyone would like to talk to me about sponsorship opportunities, bring it.

Also, I guess it's ok to announce that there is an agreement in principle for me to become a partner in a boutique law firm. That's fancy talk for I found a law partner and we're going to try to make this thing happen. I'm pretty pumped about it.

One last thing (h/t to Drogba), yesterday was Dangerbox's birthday!!! So happy birthday, Dangerbox.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-01-27T16:03:00.002-06:00

Well, it’s time for some Tuesday thoughts and Drogba is pretty damn busy so he’s going to try and hit the highlights. Here we go!

The Super Bowl is set. Cardinals vs. Steelers! Can anyone stop Larry Fitzgerald?

Speaking of the Super Bowl, does anyone else think that Super Bowl Parties are overrated? Maybe it’s because Drogba is a football purist, but Super Bowl Parties are a waste of time. Well over half the people at the party could give a damn about the game, (in fact, odds are they will never know the score once the game gets going) and it’s usually easier to watch the commercials without interruption then the actual game. (For those that are concerned, Drogba will probably be watching the game with other football purist like Tony and Linvoy)

Drogba may grow his hair out like Troy Polamalu

The Oscar nominations are out. Once Drogba has finished seeing all the nominees, he will be happy to handicap it for all you gamblers out there.

The Grizz have a new coach. Drogba is NOT impressed!

Evil is on a run of four day benders that most people call, “the weekend”.

Is there anything better then People Watching?

It is FREAKING COLD outside. When will the madness stop?

If one doesn’t buy milk and bread on a regular basis, does he need to once an ice storm hits?

Why is “The Man” trying to keep Drogba’s boy Andre Allen down?

Is it bad to skip dinner on Friday nights and instead SLAM a bottle of wine?

Thought of the Day

“The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion.”

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
16th President of the United States

Until next time, have a great week!

This whole thing is subjectionable.

2009-01-26T16:18:00.002-06:00

I'm back and I have one thing to say...Benders are not the best thing to do to yourself, but are necessary for human development.

So, my latest bender began last Wednesday. This was not planned. I actually told myself I was going to take it easy and save money for the weekend. Was I jonesing to go out? Yes. I hadn't gone out in several days and I'd like to go out every night. I would, but I can't, so I don't. It seemed like a good idea to save some cash for the Nashville/Knoxville weekend. As you and I know though, good ideas die quickly in my mind. Sometimes they die horrific deaths. This is one of those times.

It all started when Winston sent me a text about going to see the Bloody Foot of Rock later. I love Winston. I love the Bloody Foot of Rock. Why not? I'm in.

This wouldn't be a problem if that's what I had done. About an hour later (around 1 in the pm) my buddy Dominic called me up. Here's the thing, Dominic is not only a friend he's also a client. So, when he tells me he's about to call it a day and wants to get a couple of bevs, my head says this is a good time for some "client development." I may have also thought I can "write this off." I don't even really know how one "writes off" going to drink at 1:00 in the afternoon, and even if I could I'm pretty sure my five dollar tab at Bosco's wouldn't be worth the damage I would do later. No matter, I was on my way.

So, Dominic and I start drinking around 1:30... on Wednesday. Things are going well. We are actually talking about some business and I've had about five Hop Gods. (Side note: Hop God is the greatest beer of all time.) It's about 5 and I am drunk. At which point Winston comes in to have some bevs. Blah, blah, blah, I end up drinking at Bosco's until about 9. As a matter of fact, the only reason I left those delicious Hop Gods is because I needed to eat and I refused to eat two meals in one day at Bosco's.

So, my day shift at Bosco's was over. I went to eat at La Chardonnay. Nothing exciting happened, but I ate which is important. You should always do that. If you don't you'll die and I'll be down from four to three readers and no one wants that.

It's about 10:30 and Winston and myself head to the Bloody Foot. I am pumped. This is their first show in 11 months. There's a new lineup and I'll be honest, I was a little worried that they wouldn't rock as much. As I am worrying about this I find out something else... Nocturnal does not have a liquor license!!!

Ok, I want to point this out because Lackluster has had opportunities to play at Nocturnal. I have no idea how Lackluster could play a bar without liquor. What would the fans do? Drink beer? Is that really going to do the trick? Would that get your mind right for the rock? I doubt it, but I guess.

Anyway, we found a solution to the problem. You can run across the street to Murphy's get a shot and be back in around 1 minute flat. It's pretty awesome. There is nothing like sprinting across Madison, ordering a shot, taking it and then sprinting back. It makes you feel a little more alive.

So, we found a way to fight through, and the Bloody Foot rewarded us with the rock. If you like to rock, go see the Bloody Foot. At some point in the future, I hope Lackluster plays a show with them. We move on to the Monkey.

Now, at the Monkey I have an interesting experience. I walk in with Winston and a lady, and I use that term loosely, ask Winston who she's with. He introduces us and we start chatting it up. It strikes me immediately that this one is a little off. We start talking about our backgrounds and it comes up that EvilSis went to Hutchison. She then starts telling me about how EvilSis was too cool to know who this girl was. It was awesome. I actually said to her, "Do you really care about this? Cause I'm pretty sure EvilSis doesn't and I know I don't." Anyway, it was weird. I mean you've been out of high school for seven years or so and that's what you think about. And you think other people really give a shit?

And here's the thing, EvilSis and her cohorts did know who this girl was. That's the funniest thing. So, if she happens to be reading this, yes, they know you are. Also, if you are in a position where you are talking to a guy again, try not to be so weird.

Speaking of talking about things nobody cares about, I'd like to thank Ko Ko for listening to me during our post game meal at CK's. I have no idea why you would care about any of that, but I needed to get some things off my chest. Oh, and the Paul Bunyan is delicious.

So, I went to bed at 5:30 on Wednesday. What a way to start a weekend!!!

To be continued...

Rocky Top, Bitches!!!!

2009-01-22T13:01:00.004-06:00

I'm about to head eastward with the final destination of Thompson Boiling Arena on the campus of the University of Tennessee. My boys finally played some basketball on Tuesday against Vandy and we're ready to beat them Tigers. I got the orange pants packed and we're going to celebrate all night on Saturday. Here's a little something to get you pumped...

It's great to be a Tennessee Volunteer!!!!

No Jerkass of the Week this except to tell the people who are already hating on some Obama to hate away, we're moving on up.

Have a great weekend, folks!!! Go Vols!!! Get crunk!!!

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-01-20T13:09:00.001-06:00

There’s a new Sheriff in town…and his name is NOT Reggie Hammond. It’s Barack Obama!

This great nation now has its 44th President, Barack Hussein Obama. Drogba made a point to take his lunch break before 11:00am so that he could witness the Inauguration. Drogba has never been prouder to be an American then he was today. Like Evil, Drogba found himself so moved that he even shed a tear or two.

Drogba could think of no other thoughts, (mainly because the news coverage has been everywhere), then the Inauguration or OUR 44th President.

Drogba wants to leave you all with a quote from President Obama’s speech that causes a feeling of both hope and excitement in Drogba.

“Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America – they will be met.”

God bless the United States of America!

One Last Thing

Has anyone noticed that it is no longer pitch black dark at 5:00pm? That’s right, daylight savings time is getting closer. That means “Happy Hour” on patios and after work rounds of golf. Drogba can’t wait.

Until next time, have a great week!

It's been a long time coming...

2009-01-19T23:46:00.003-06:00

Well, we made it. In a few short hours Barack Hussein Obama will become the 44th President of the United States of America. Oh, if you haven't heard he'll be the first black one. He'll also be the first of his generation. He'll also face more challenges than any has faced since FDR. He'll be all these things, but that's not what I want to talk about.

Well, I guess I'm kind of talking about the fact that he's black, but not just that. What excites me about the election of Obama and his Presidency is that for the first time in a long time people put that crap aside. Not everyone, but enough people. I am hopeful, though not confident, that Obama can keep people on task as President. I think the point I made throughout this campaign was that we got some real damn problems and too many times we talk about things that don't matter two weeks later.

In this election Americans came together and said, "Enough!" We don't care what his middle name is. We don't care if you call him a liberal. We don't care if he's black. We don't care about any of it. We care about what we're going to do with this country of ours.

As I sit here writing this President Bush is leaving office with a 22% approval rating and Barack Obama is coming in with a 83% approval rating. I think it's to safe to say most Americans get it. Yet, as I sit here I also have "friends" with smart ass comments about how they feel about the incoming President. That's fine. They are Americans and they get to express their opinions. My only question to them is, what the hell? What world do you live in? Is there anything, short of full on Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, that would at least make you give the guy a shot? Or in that situation would you still be too afraid to let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, things aren't going the right way?

Moving on, the other day a friend of mine sent out a video of an Obama speech with her comment saying, "I'm not sure if I can handle this for four years... I start crying every time he gives a speech." I may not be to that point, but I will say that I've been brought to tears more than once over the past couple days and I'm sure tomorrow will be worse. Sure, I'll admit, part of that is because we're going to have our first black President. It would be disingenuous of me to say otherwise.

But, here's the thing, I'm not black. I actually pretty damn white. What I, and a lot of other folks, am getting so emotional about is something else. Over the past eight years we've seen this country turn to shit. We've been through a lot. We've seen our Justice Department turned into a wing of the RNC. We've seen the CIA turned into a propaganda machine for the White House. We've seen surpluses turn into deficits. We've seen one of our great cities nearly destroyed while the President literally ate cake. We've seen one of our favorite sides renamed "Freedom Fries". We've seen millions of people lose their jobs. We've seen millions more fall into poverty. We've seen a further degradation of our environment. We've seen the gap between the rich and poor grow even greater. We've seen us lose our reputation around the world. We've seen us invade a country that did not attack us. And worst of all, we've seen our nation torture human beings in our names. We've seen all of this and for eight years we've been told that if we didn't like these things then we hate America.

Well, I'm not going to tell anyone out there they hate America because they don't support Barack Obama. I'm going to say that because they must support us continuing in the same direction we've been on for the past eight years; and unless they are really looking forward to the "Two men enter, one man leaves" lifestyle, then I think they must hate America.

For the rest of us, I think it is a great day to be an American. Enjoy it. Oh, and if you feel the need to shed a few tears, that's fine. People do that when they are proud of the folks they love.

I like to call him a jerkass, but that's also pretty awesome.

2009-01-16T11:42:00.002-06:00

It's been an eventful week here at Evil, Inc. We got big things afoot all over. I can't really talk about them, but trust me, action is coming. It looks like I'm going to have a new career, it looks like I may have some new projects and as anyone who knows me knows I like to have lots of fires burning. I guess it's my short attention span, but I like to say it's because I am a renaissance man. Take your pick. Whatever it is, my heat doesn't work well enough to keep up with the Memphis cold and my hot water heater blew up (AGAIN!) last night. It was a wonderful way to be awoken at 3:30 in the morning.

All that being said, it's Friday and Friday means the Jerkass of the Week! Let's get going on.

First, I want to give the kickass of the week to the pilots of that plane that landed in the Hudson River yesterday. That's just awesome. You guys kick ass.

Speaking of planes, I was really tempted to give the jerkass of the week to Marcus Schrenker. That's the guy who tried to fake his own death by crashing his plane in Florida. It was all kinds of terrible. But, you know what? I think that's pretty awesome. That guy has some huge balls. I mean, he freaking is wanted on fraud charges, his wife's leaving him, basically everything is falling apart. So, what does he do? He doesn't kill himself. No, he knows he'll get back on his feet as long as he can get a clean break. No, he makes a plan where he fakes his own death and tries to just get away. Was it a stupid plan? Yes. But, I respect the effort and am not willing to give him the JOW for that.

So, who gets the Jerkass of the Week? Well, it wouldn't be the Evilblog if on the last Friday of his Presidency we didn't give it to the W. Did you guys see his going away press conference? What a freakin' jerkass!!! I mean he went down swinging. He thinks the problem with Katrina was that he didn't land in Baton Rouge? He thinks the problem with the Iraq war is the "Mission Accomplished" banner? I gotta give it to the guy. He has kept a low profile the last couple of months, but in his last week as President I think he deserves this. Not only that, but I'm giving him and the Dick Cheney Jerkass Lifetime Achievement Award.

Way to go, W!!! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!!! As this is a lifetime achievement award and also as this is the last Friday of the W's, I decided to bring back something from a past life on this blog. That's right!!! The interview with the winner of the JOW Award!!!

Evil: Wow, this is quite an honor!!! Mr. President, thanks for joining us!!!

W: Hu, Hu, I'm glad you're honored. It's pretty awesome.

Evil: What's it been like being President for the last eight years?

W: It's been pretty awesome!!! I mean, you get to make your own hours. You've gotta an awesome plane. You get to ride your bike around Camp David. Have you ever been to Camp David?

Evil: Um, no.

W: Man, it's awesome.

Evil: Well, that's great!!! Um, what are you most proud of?

W: 9/11.

Evil: What? You're proud of 9/11?

W: Sorry. I meant I'm proud of how we handled 9/11?

Evil: Is that a question?

W: No?

Evil: Was that a question?

W: Maybe.

Evil: Sir, I'm sorry but I've got things to do today. Anything you'd like to add?

W: Well, thank you for this awesome honor. I, and my administration, worked really hard over the years to get this. I'd like to thank Dick, Condi, Al, Rummie, Short Face, Big Shoe, Baldie, Blondie, Stink Fish...

Evil: Um, sir?

W: Tall dude, Wo wo, Jo jo, Barney...

Evil: Thanks a lot, sir. We gotta go.

W: Oh, Laura, and Jenna and Barb...

Evil: Good day, sir.

W: Scarface, Fredo...

Evil: I said, GOOD DAY!!!!

That's it!!! Have a great weekend folks!!! Get crunk!!!

Grizz are straight up gangsta!!!

2009-01-12T12:08:00.002-06:00

Yo, Paul Allen, you want to threaten the Grizz. Huh? You want a piece of us? Fine. BOOM!!!! We'll sign Darius Miles and play him two more games. We don't care. We're just that gangsta!!!

Oh, and apparently we're sending Mike Conley to Milwaukee for Joe Alexander and Ramon Sessions. I have never seen Ramon Sessions play, but I hear good things. I'm looking up clips right now. Joe Alexander is raw and I doubt he ever does anything. My understanding is the Grizz have given up on Conley. If that's true, then I'd imagine you could do worse than getting a guy that's put up better numbers than Conley and the guy who was just the number eight pick in the draft.

The meaning of everything... and so much more.

2009-01-09T14:28:00.002-06:00

Life's been slow as of late. I can't really tell you what I've been doing. I just haven't felt like I've had a good story to tell you guys for a while. Then I was talking to Clap Jackass today and apparently, it's not that I don't have stories, I just don't like how they end. Not that they end different then my other stories, it's just somehow the ending has gotten old for me. Being the protagonist and the author of these stories, that's kind of important.

That being said. I do go out and try to create the crunk. I've actually been going out a lot lately, doing the same things I've always done. I've been hanging out with the Predumper some. It seems that whole story could be wrong, although I like it better the way I wrote it. I've also been hitting on bartenders again. It is working about as well as it always has, but I'll keep swinging because I'm too lazy to hit on anything else.

Which brings me to an interesting tale. Some time ago, I think it was July of '07, I was out with some friends. The TLB was in town and we all went and played trivia at the Brookhaven. This is working great because the TLB is one of the smartest ladies I've ever known and our area of expertise are extremely different. Life is good.

At some point in the evening a beautiful blond lady walks into the bar. That wouldn't be special except this lady happens to be approximately 6 feet tall. That's right folks, we're talking four here. I'm telling this one is quite a specimen too. She's got her whole game working. I'd say she's the prototype of what this organization is looking for.

Now, here's where things get tricky. This hot young prospect is actually out with some guys I know, and to top it off they sit right next to us. Why is this tricky? Well, I'm with the TLB and at this time in our relationship I thought the TLB and I could possibly have some future together. I know, I know. Clap already said it. She had no standing to prevent me from hitting on such a great prospect. If I could turn back time. If I could find a way... Anyway, at this point in my life I wasn't about to openly hit on someone in front of the TLB. It just wasn't going to happen. Deal with it.

Moving on, as the night progresses and more shots are taken, somehow the Prototype starts thinking I am hilarious. It's going great, except for said TLB situation. I think it is also appropriate to point out that the TLB can drink like a fish and apparently never has to pee. Seriously, that woman is a machine. I'm not 100% sure she really exist.

Here in lies the dilemma. I mean things are looking pretty good. I got an outstanding prospect talking to me. I need the digits. What to do? Well, I pussed out. I thought about all kinds of options. None of them happened. I took the TLB home and had one of the more interesting interactions with my mother I've ever had. (Long story and this one is going to be long enough.)

So, that was that. I gave up a great draft pick for the TLB. That's ok. At the time, it seemed like a reasonable decision. It really did.

Then something happened. I was out with EvilSis and one of her buddies one night at the Beauty Shop. They were talking... and talking... and talking. None of it was mildly interesting, because... well, because they weren't talking about me and everyone knows that I'm not interested in talking about anything except me!!!!

At this point I look at the table next to me and who do I see? The Prototype!!! Here it is. My big chance. One problem. I'm drunk and in a weird mood. Somehow, I've managed to move the topic of conversation to EvilSis's well known hatred of space. (Yes, this is what I do when I get bored.) We're going through her reasons for the hate. Anyway, we're having a good time and I decide to get the Prototype and her table involved in what is clearly one of the great debates of our time... How can one hate space?

Well, apparently, I didn't sell this in the right way. It seems some folks are afraid to express their feelings about space in public. I don't know, but the whole thing ended very poorly. No big deal. If you are not willing to discuss the freakishness of EvilSis's hate, your loss. Or so I thought.

A couple weeks later I get a call from the Coach. She informs me of what she believes to be great news. She tells me she's got an in with the four from the bar. Friend of a friend or some shit. I give her the go ahead. Keep in mind, she doesn't know about the interaction at the Beauty Shop.

So, they all go out for drinks. Yadda yadda yadda, I come up. The Prototype says, "Oh, I know him." and not in a nice way. I would think this would be enough, but when the coach sees a prospect that she thinks would be good for the team she pushes hard to get them. That's part of the reason she's the coach and I'm the player. Anyway, she tries to sell the Prototype on what our organization has to offer. She even tells her we're looking for a four!!!! Seriously, she told her that the team that wants her desperately wants someone with her skill set. I don't know what kind of negotiating tactic this was, but it doesn't take Scott Boras to tell you that this move made our organization even more desperate than we actually are. Which is not easy to do!!!

Anyway, I thought that was the end of it, but the Coach and her little friend try to make this whole transaction take place one night at Ernestine's. Oh, it was awful. I felt like a fucking stalker. It was terrible. I swear to God, I am pretty sure that at this point in our relationship when this woman sees me she sees a scary looking guy in a overcoat peeping through her window. I am so far off my game it's not even funny. I convince the Coach to let it go and we live to fight another day. There are other players. There are other fours. Just because you don't get Karl Malone, doesn't mean you can't later pick up a very serviceable Buck Williams. These things happen.

Well, the point of this story comes in here. Over the year and some change since all this happened I have seen the Prototype out. We exchange awkward glances and have even had some strange introductions to each other from mutual acquaintances. I still feel like she sees me as a freak. Little does she know that I am one, just not in the way she thinks that I am. So, anyway, on New Year's I see her and she comes right up to me and says, "I am the four!" I laugh and say, "You're not THE four, you're a four. There is a difference." We talk for a while and I tell her that I would love to be given a chance to prove that I am not the psycho that she must think I am. Blah, blah, blah, I don't ask her out and she leaves.

This would all be fine except the bartender sees all. The Prototype leaves and the bartender starts right in on me. "Why didn't you just ask her out?" "What are you a pussy?" "Were you waiting to send her a note and ask her to check yes or no?" I tried to explain to her that it was complicated (see above story), but she would have none of it. I passed her a note asking her if she'd cuddle with me and to check yes or no. She laughed.

So, that's my life in a nutshell. See, I told you I got nothing.

Drogba's Tuesday Thoughts

2009-01-06T17:20:00.002-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It’s 2009 and Drogba hopes you all had a safe and fun New Years. Drogba hopes you drank champagne all night and then chowed down on some Black-eyed peas while watching plenty of football. Speaking of football

How bout Drogba’s Rebels?!

That’s right; the Rebels ran their win streak to six with another “BEAT DOWN”! Oh, the one lose Texas Tech Red Raiders. They just knew they were the best team in the country. Too bad they play in the Big 12, where defense is where you stick all the chumps on your team. Maybe the Rebels are better on offense then Drogba thought, but they were running through the Red Raiders like it was a freaking “walk through” practice. Drogba was there in Dallas and he enjoyed every minute of the game. Of course, afterwards, Drogba just couldn’t seem to find any of those Texas Tech PUNKS that kept running their mouths before the game. Oh well, Drogba’s Rebels will finish the season at 9-4 and Cotton Bowl Champs. The good news is there is a lot of talent left for next year. Drogba can’t wait!

Is there anything in the world better then an Open Bar?

Apparently Israel has a New Year’s Resolution and Drogba doesn’t think it involves losing weight or going to the gym. In the words Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along”?

What bothers Drogba?

You know what bothers Drogba, selfish elevator users. You guys know what he’s talking about. You know, you are on the elevator and it’s taking you to your desired floor. You get there and the door opens but before you can walk out, some ASSHOLE is trying to walk in because minutes earlier he hit the button and now HIS elevator is here. NEWS FLASH: THE ELEVATOR IS FOR EVERYONE! Just because you were on the first floor and you hit the up button, doesn’t mean the elevator will be empty when it gets to you. Drogba’s favorite is the look the SELFISH BASTARDS give you as they are standing in your way while you are trying to exit the elevator. You know, the “My Bad” look. That’s right it’s Your Bad, your ass should have waited the two seconds it takes to see if someone is on the elevator and thus let them walk out. If your ass is in that big of a hurry, take the fucking stairs! So, if you guys learn anything from Drogba, (besides that the left lane is the fast lane), please learn to wait two seconds to see if anyone is on the elevator before storming in. If someone is in the elevator, make sure there is plenty of space for them to exit. If you are really feeling froggy, you can throw out a “how’s it?” or something like that.

One Last Thing

The world needs more Brandy drinkers. Drogba doesn’t consider himself one, but he was given a bottle the other day and he plans to finish it off by the weekend. So, if you are out and about, having dinner or what not, try a glass of Brandy.

Until next time, have a great week!